This week’s Top 25 is in total shambles, like the college football day was, so we’ve just stolen from Twitter to make our list.
Anything that seems disjointed, repetitive, wrong or just stupid is entirely your fault.
Either that, or you can relax, crack open a cold one, and go with the flow.
At least it isn’t the scuzzy old NFL.
1. A TWEET FROM BOB RYAN OF THE BOSTON GLOBE: “I said all week the final would be USC 50, BC 7. This, friends, is why you always have to play the game on the field and not in your head.”
2. A TWEET FROM RYAN THORBURN OF THE EUGENE REGISTER GUARD: “Oregon WR Keanon Lowe on Marcus Mariota's touchdown leap: 'The first thought I had going through my head was, ‘Did he just jump over me?’ Good thing I'm only 5-9.'”
3. A TWEET FROM BRUCE ARTHUR OF THE TORONTO STAR: “A unanimous decision? But I thought only God could judge Floyd Mayweather.”
4. A TWEET FROM SPENCER HALL OF EVERY DAY SHOULD BE SATURDAY: “If Nebraska is still playing out in Fresno, it'll end with Bo Pelini shirtless under the stands fighting a mountain lion for cash.”
5. A TWEET FROM BOMANI JONES OF ESPN AND THE MORNING JONES IN RESPONSE TO A TWEET FROM ANDY STAPLES OF SPORTS ILLUSTRATED: “This free football tastes like all-you-can-eat 'shrimp' at the Sizzler. RT @Andy_Staples: More free football in Gainesville.”
6. A TWEET FROM KATIE NOLAN OF FOX: “UCLA's pants doing zero favors in the butt sweat department.”
7. A TWEET FROM RICK GOSSELIN OF THE DALLAS MORNING NEWS: “Not sure I've ever seen this before. In a 4-and-2 for Oklahoma, 3 consecutive timeouts, in order -- Oklahoma, Tennessee, Oklahoma -- before the next snap.”
8. A TWEET FROM DAN WOLKEN OF USA TODAY: “Yes, barring a Purdue miracle, the Big Ten will be 1-10 against the Power 5 this year. Rutgers over Wazzu the only win. Rutgers!”
9. A TWEET FROM JOSH AT THE STATE: “Steve Spurrier on Georgia’s intentional grounding on first-and-goal: “That was interesting they ran that play I guess.”
10. A TWEET FROM STEVE GREENBERG OF THE CHICAGO SUN-TIMES: “(Illinois coach) Tim Beckman after his team’s 44-19 loss to Washington: ‘You take out 21 points on three plays and we’re in this football game.’ Yes, he really said that.”
11. A TWEET FROM RYAN NANNI, A.K.A. @celebrity hottub: “Nothing really matters...Anyone can see...Nothing really matters...Iowa State 20, Iowa 17"
12. A TWEET FROM JON WILNER OF THE SAN JOSE MERCURY NEWS: “My takeaway from 1st half of Stanford-Army: Buffalo. Is. Not. Good.”
13. A TWEET BY PAT FORDE OF YAHOO! SPORTS: “Touchdown Purdue. This, right here, is the Big Ten's high-water mark of the season to date.”
14. A TWEET FROM CHRIS SPROW OF ESPN: “Washington State rushing touchdown. Drink 20.”
15. A TWEET FROM JESSE SPECTOR OF THE SPORTING NEWS: “At the University of Georgia, we have sent our students to successful internship programs with the Minnesota Vikings and Buffalo Bills . . .”
16. A TWEET FROM BRUIN REPORT: “So UCLA wins the toss and elects to defer. And then Texas chooses to kickoff. So UCLA will get it twice.”
17. A TWEET FROM DR. SATURDAY OF YAHOO: “After injuring his elbow on a scramble, UCLA QB Brett Hundley was pushed down by Jim Mora to cause an injury timeout.”
18. A TWEET FROM TIM SULLIOVAMN OF THE LOUISVILLE COURIER JOURNAL: “Florida quarterback Jeff Driskel might give Kentucky its best chance to win. He has a plus arm and the delicate touch of a stevedore.”
19. A TWEET FROM DAVID UBBEN: “Maryland may have committed kick catch interference against itself and returned a punt for a TD on the same play. #B1G.
20. A TWEET FOR ABBEY MASTRACCO OF FOX: “A friend of mine with medical experience said after looking at the replays of Brett Hundley it looked like an impacted olecranon. AKA, a break.”
21. A TWEET FROM HOLLY ANDERSON OF GRANTLAND: Am told by sources that lifelong Oklahoma fan Kenny Chesney’s music could be heard blaring from 3 consecutive Norman tailgates.”
22. A TWEET FROM CAN’T STOP THE BLEEDING: “Southwestern Univ. wins its first football game since 1950.”
23. A TWEET FROM JACK LANEY OF NOTHING IN PARTICULAR: “Hello I'm Will Muschamp. Welcome to Wal-Mart.”
24. A TWEET FROM DOUG FARRAR OF SPORTS ILLUSTRATED: “That was a terrible, horrible, wildly entertaining game. Now please wash it out of my brain.”
25. A TWEET FROM USC ALUM ANN FRAZIER OF FEAR THE FIN: “I'm done tonight. Sports can go die in a fire.”
Next week, we’ll pretend to care more.