Phil Jackson should have known better than to waste a thoughtful answer. He's been around too long to make such a moronic error, and he should be chastised in as many ways as words exist.
Jackson, who is watching the annual sinking of the S.S. Knickerbocker, was asked whom Curry reminded him of, and he came up with the name Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf. It is not the first name that popped into many heads, but it was neither insane nor ill-considered.
What it definitely wasn’t was a statement of preference. He did not say, “Abdul-Rauf is way better,” or “If I could start a franchise from scratch, I’d take Abdul-Rauf.” He said they were vaguely similar stylistically, but his failing came in saying it where dopes could read it and turn it into another round of “’I Know More Basketball Than Phil Jackson,’ By A Fool.”
Here’s a fact. Curry is extraordinary. Abdul-Rauf might have been for many of the same reasons, but wasn’t. The correct answer for people who don’t read but like to seem as though they do is clearly, “Curry is most like the Egyptian polymath and god Imhotep,” or “The The correct answer for people who are curious what people who have spent their lives in and around the NBA is, well, not as interesting.
So let’s vomit all over it.
[RELATED: Jackson clarifies Curry comparison]
# # #
As for me, I see a lot of Whitey Skoog, the old Minneapolis Laker, in Curry. Or I would if he weren’t 89.
# # #
Speaking of Whitey . . . err, whitey, Phyllis Schafly, the nonagenarian conservative pundit and gadfly who made her name as a strident opponent to the Equal Rights Amendment in the ‘60s, spun a touching yarn on her Eagle Forum radio commentary about the grand old game.
That is, the grand old monochromatic game as it was played during World War II. I give you Ms. Schafly:
“When I was growing up, my favorite sport was baseball. One of my most exciting memories was attending the World Series in 1944 between the St. Louis Cardinals and the St. Louis Browns. Baseball is a wonderful activity for boys and young men. It helps develop mental discipline, patience and obeying rules. A lower percentage of professional baseball players have post-career troubles compared with football and basketball players, and baseball is a safer sport, too.
“The best baseball players today are American-born. All six of the six recipients of the top awards this past season are native born American, but more than a quarter of Major League Baseball players are foreign-born, with whom our youth are less likely to identify. Some of these players cannot speak English and they did not rise through the ranks of Little League. These foreign-born players enter on visas and take positions that should go to American players. Fewer than four percent of the Baseball Hall of Fame is foreign-born, yet 27 percent of today's players are foreign-born.
“This foreign influx into our National Pastime may help explain why our youth is abandoning baseball. Youth who play baseball have declined by more than 40 percent since 2000, and some communities where baseball was once booming now struggle to fill their teams. Television ratings for World Series games are less than half what they were three decades ago.
“Baseball owners are doing the same thing that big corporations do: Bring in foreign labor to take jobs that ought to go to Americans. American baseball players are better, as the awards and Hall of Fame prove, but perhaps baseball owners think that foreign players are cheaper and easier to control.
“It is time to cut off visas for foreign baseball players, and return our national pastime to Americans.”
You know, like 1944. Before the evil influx of one-armed players like the troublemaking Brownie, Pete Gray.
# # #
The NHL trade deadline came and went, and the best name to move this time was the Colorado forward who will now make the New York Islanders a blander but less interesting team down the stretch.
Mark-Andre Cliché.
# # #
The Albuquerque Isotopes are going in on a local fictional hero for a uniform charity auction promotion this August.
Give up? Well, Walter White is essentially dead, and not a good role model for the kids in any event, so the ‘Topes went to Plan B.
Saul Goodman. The Saul Goodman. The “Better Call Saul” Saul Goodman.
Bring your wallets, kids. It’s for a weird cause.
# # #
[WATCH: Cousins gets tangled with Steven Adams, winds up to throw punch, but stops himself]
And finally, DeMarcus Cousins has pulled back ahead of Draymond Green in the NBA technical foul race – pending the league ruling on him yelling at his teammates Saturday in Oklahoma City.
Tarnation, this sort of thing never happened to Whitey Skoog, by cracky. Damned kids. Always ringing the doorbell and running off, and putting dog poop in the mailbox. Why I oughta . . . (shakes fist and mutters incoherently).
