The art of being disappointed is a difficult one to master, apparently. The Minnesota Vikings, who were soundly thrashed by Seattle, then got an impromptu analysis from underutilized running back Adrian Peterson, who said, “We were outcoached in so many ways. And outplayed as players.”
When he was asked if his assessment had anything to do with getting just eight carries, he said, “What you think?”
Yeah, let’s go with that then.
[RELATED: Wilson, Seahawks rout Vikings]
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Meanwhile in St. Louis, head coach Jeff Fisher, who last week offered any reporter who thought his team wasn’t giving maximum effort the opportunity to kiss his butt, said after Sunday’s rout at the hands of the Cardinals, told the same smooch candidates that he’s run out of answers.
Well, it’s like Bill Parcells once said – “When even getting your ass kissed doesn’t help, you are what your record says you are.”
And yes, I did embellish that quotation a bit.
[RELATED: Cardinals crush Rams]
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Hue Jackson, the defrocked Raider head coach who was burned for flying too close to the sun in the days after Al Davis’ death, apparently had at least two college teams, USC and the University of Miami, ask the Cincinnati Bengals for permission to interview him for their no-longer-vacant head coaching jobs (Clay Helton to USC, Mark Richt to the U).
And permission was firmly denied.
Problem? Apparently not. Bengals owner Mike Brown wanted to avoid distractions in their season, but because Brown is a supporter of Jackson’s getting another NFL head coaching job, Jackson is apparently fine with the decision.
So no butt was kissed in the development of this story.
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Golden State’s strength of schedule this year includes 15 teams (in 22 games) with an aggregate record of 133-168, which is the equivalent of beating the Washington Wizards 22 consecutive times.
Which also isn’t that easy.
[INSTANT REPLAY: Warriors run away from Nets, improve to 22-0]
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The U.S. Women’s soccer team decided to cancel its match with Trinidad and Tobago in Honolulu for the flimsiest of reasons.
The very real possibility that the Aloha Stadium field would actually open up and Cthulhu would emerge, eating members of the roster. Their explanation, which was prompted by Megan Rapinoe’s shredded knee caused by a wretched practice field, was enhanced Sunday:
“It wasn’t until we got to Aloha Stadium (Saturday), the day before the match against Trinidad and Tobago that we finally saw, for the first time, how bad the stadium’s field truly was. The conditions were such that our coach shortened practice to a brief 30-minute training session so we wouldn’t risk injury before the game. There were sharp rocks ingrained all over the field. They were everywhere. The artificial turf was actually pulling up out of the ground, and the turf itself was both low-grade and aging. This was a playing surface that looked like it hadn’t been replaced in years.”
This proves yet again what KGO’s Larry Beil has said for years – Aloha means goodbye.
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Sepp Blatter, the insufficiently disgraced quasi-former head of FIFA (Fiddling Internationally For Assets), is now being investigated by the FBI to determine his role in a $100 million bribe paid to the organization by the now-defunct sports marketing company ISL. Former FIFA executive Joao Havelange apparently wrote in a letter to the FBI that Blatter was well aware of the corruption within FIFA and of this specific bribe. You are no doubt surprised by this . . . well, you’re probably only surprised that he could have conceivably stopped at $100 million.
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And finally, the Carlisle United soccer team took some time from its busy schedule of soccering to remember where and with whom they live. With their part of England being battered by flooding from Storm Desmond (the equivalent of American hurricane names, apparently), apparently one of their members popped onto Facebook to send this:
“Just speaking to club captain Danny Grainger on the team bus. A lot of concern from the lads about all those affected by this weekend's events up in Cumbria and the Borders. Every member of the squad has agreed that they want to help, if at all possible, so they have spoken to manager Keith Curle, and it has been agreed that we will all be available after training on Tuesday to help out in any way possible. Clearing furniture, cleaning, tidying - anything that is needed and that will help. Contact us on firstname.lastname@example.org if you think the lads can help you with your situation.”
Now that beats an extra round of seven-on-seven any time.