Many people were surprised to learn that the NFL was capable of accepting something as earth-is-round as a causative link between football and neurodegenerative diseases, but this admission is only a first step toward acknowledging its share of fiscal responsibility for the players who suffer now from the accumulated damage of all those collisions, which brings us to the grand humanitarian, Stan Kroenke.
It seems the Rams, who have moved from St. Louis to Los Angeles, were trying to sign their players to contracts that stated that any liability disputes would be determined by Missouri law rather than the more generous statutes in California. The union caught the Rams in the switch and proceeded to inform their players not to sign any deal that has the Missouri clause in it.
In other words, you can admit to anything if you think you’ll never have to pay for it.
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In other NFL WTF, NFLPA head DeMaurice Smith told The Wall Street Journal (if you subscribe, summary here if not) that the union and the league are closing in a deal that would strip Roger (Hell’s Hall Monitor) Goodell of the right to discipline players for off-field behavior.
“We’ve been talking about changes to the personal conduct policy since October and have traded proposals,” Smith said to Mathhew Futterman of WSJ. “We looked at the league’s proposal for neutral arbitration. There is a common ground for us to get something done.”
In fairness, America’s most vilified mall cop has spoken of getting out from under this particular forfeit for months now.
“I am open to changing my role,” he said in September. “It's become extremely time-consuming, and I have to be focused on other issues. I’ve discussed this with owners. I want to get to a better discipline situation. I have had discussions with the union . . . the courts are not where we should be having these discussions.”
Of course, the league’s track record in court would tell you that much. But never forget that there are endless unplumbed level of idiotic bullying in which the league can still engage, in case you’re wondering if they’ll be able to replace crap discipline with another hobby.
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The Washington Carbon-Based Things have a plan for a new stadium in D.C. which features among other things a moat, presumably to keep out the Huguenots. Of course it is a stupid idea, but hardly a surprisingly stupid one given the people involved.
This is reminiscent of the Maracana, the old Brazilian dreadnought which once featured a moat inside the ground to keep fans from storming the field.
It also reminds us of Candlestick Park, which should have one and in fact often turned its parking lot into a moat just to remind everyone that sea level is not just an idea, it is the law.
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Carl Bialik of 538.com used metrics, goat entrails and logic to show that San Jose is the most forgettable big city in America. This isn’t sports, but we mention simply to irritate our southern brethren. Hey, if you want people to remember you, back away from the Jamba Juice stands. You have enough.
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When does an $83,313 profit become a $27,771 loss? When you’re a soccer player who can’t keep it in his pants.
“It” being the $83,000.
From BILD, the German daily and transmogrified into English by Who Ate All The Pies, Now, Wolfsburg forward Max Kruse won €75,000 euros at a World Series of Poker event, but then left his money in a cab. He proceeded to employ the local police to help him locate the money, at which point the German tabloids got hold of the tale and his club fined him €25,000 for . . . well, presumably for letting German tabloids get hold of the tale.
Wolfsburg’s sporting executive Klaus Allofs reprimanded Kruse in announcing the fine, saying, “You might be a private person as a footballer when you are in your bed. At any other point, you are also an employee of the club. We have explained to him what sort of behavior we expect from our players. I can only hope that he has been taught a lesson and will change his behavior.”
And to do a better job of minding his swag.
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Former A’s executive Paul DePodesta was overcome with a wave of nostalgia during the NFL Combine when he heard his fellow football executive ragging on his new employers, the hilariously non-competent Cleveland Browns.
He relayed the tale at the Sloan Freaks, Geeks, Nerds And Future Employers Of America conference at MIT.
“I was standing right in front of them in line (at the Indianapolis Airport) and I could hear them in back of me and they were talking trash about me and the Cleveland Browns,” DePodesta said. “I said, ‘All right, this is like 17 years ago in Oakland all over again.’ That’s part of the fun.
“As an organization, and probably even more importantly, we have big challenges in front of us. We have a super competitive league, we haven’t been very successful on the field and we have a big mountain to climb, but I think we have the right team of people in place to do it.”
One, he has an odd sense of what constitutes “fun.” And two, nobody ever slagged off the A’s then the way they slag off the Browns now. There’s the neo-Stalinist social media nightmare, for one thing, which I believe DePodesta helped invent when he wasn’t alphabetizing players’ CAT scans.
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And finally, Andrew Bogut hit a three-pointer against New Orleans Monday night. I now believe the Warriors are now a broad yet brilliant comedic farce written by the maniacs who gave you Childrens Hospital on Adult Swim.