We are closing in on Day Three of the Eric Mangini Era in San Francisco, and still no announcement from the 49ers.
Not sure what they’re waiting on, but it looks like Rob Chudzinski, currently serving as both the head coach of the Cleveland Browns and offensive coordinator of the Indianapolis Colts, won’t be interviewing for the apparently now-filled vacancy.
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Ken Griffey’s decision to wear his hat forward for his Hall of Fame plaque has disappointed some faux hipsters, but they may gladdened to know that he is going to attend the ceremony dressed as Hawkman, and that his presenter will be one of the three people who didn’t vote for him (amazingly, nobody has come forward to claim their national abuse, so we’re kind of hoping this will smoke him out so that Twitter can Twitter).
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Jamie Foxx sat next to Sacramento owner Vivek Ranadive at Thursday’s Lakers-Kings game, but it wasn’t so much to watch Kobe Bryant from courtside but to talk to Ranadive about an upcoming film called “I’ll Never Give Up Four-On-Five: One Man’s Struggle To Bring Penalty Killing To The NBA.”
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The 15 Pro Football Hall of Fame finalists were named, and the biggest surprise was that Eddie DeBartolo, the veterans committee nominee, and Terrell Owens, the noisome but indisputably talented wide receiver, are both finalists. We can expect the crotchety wing of the Hall of Fame committee to vote against DeBartolo for forcing them to discuss Owens, but we can’t say yet who will get in.
Although it won’t be unanimous, and not nearly as much fun as watching the one schmo in the room who doesn’t think Brett Favre belongs being pelted to death by coffee tureens and cinnamon rolls.
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In an apparent attempt to make every MMA fan spontaneously combust before he or she can buy tickets, UFC madman/promoter/madman Dana White has loaded up UFC 197 with its biggest star, Conor McGregor, and its biggest fallen star, Ronda Rousey on the card for the event in Las Vegas (apparently because Iqaluit, Nunavut was booked).
They’re not fighting each other, o’course -– McGregor is stepping up to fight lightweight champ Rafael Dos Anjos, while Rousey will be fighting Miesha Tate. That, though, won’t be nearly the card as the one the person who handles credentials for this evening of merriment through hematoma, who will be tasering nine out of every 10 people requesting a media seat for someone purporting to be from Don’t You Know Who I Am Quarterly.
So it’ll be a festive evening March 5 –- with some exciting bouts in the ring and massive brawls in the press areas. Don’t fail to see the important battle the semi-important to see who is more important than whom.
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It has always been good practice for adults to vet the coaches they were turning their children over to before allowing them to engage in organized sport, but when parents won’t do . . . well, anyway, former Philadelphia Union coach Peter Nowak, who puts the “contemptible moron unfit to ever work in the business again” in “contemptible moron unfit to ever work in the business again,” lost his wrongful termination suit, during which he admitted that he ritually spanked rookie players, even encouraging veteran players to participate. In addition, he had a bucket of ice water nearby, in which he would put his hand prior to spanking the rookies (to cool his hand, no less).
So kids, if a coach does this to you, consider it your duty to get your parents to slap him across the side of the face with an angry porcupine, and tell him as he’s picking the quills out of his eyelids that it was “good for team morale.” Because it will be.
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And finally, Beyonce has been announced as the non-Coldplay part of the halftime entertainment at Our Super Bowl. She agreed only because she wanted to stand where Jim Tomsula once stood. And really, who can blame her?
With that, until next week, go away.
