The Washington Nationals media corps and fan base will enjoy Dusty Baker. They would be fools not to do so. Thus, Dan Steinberg of DCSportsBog, from whom we cheerfully appropriated the details of the Washington Indigenii trademark lawsuit appeal story earlier this week, provides us with full Bakeriana coverage, including these gems:
““I asked a friend of mine — Al Attles with the Warriors — I said Al, how come I always get teams and have to build them up? And he said Dusty, you do more with less. And I told him that I was ready to do more with more. I’d like to try that.”
“Well, I was pretty good before, you know? Adaptation is no problem for me; my friends call me a chameleon, because they think I can adapt to any place, any time, anywhere. And so I would like to think that I transcend different generations, like some musicians. I mean, Stevie Wonder still sounds good. And The Doors might sound even better.”
“I don’t think of myself as 66 years old. I don’t know how old I am sometimes. It really doesn’t matter. Because the way I look at it — not sounding cocky or nothing — but I don’t see a whole bunch of dudes out there that look better than me.”
He was standing next to general manager Mike Rizzo at the time, so the bar that needed clearing was pretty much in a gully.
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In other DC-itude, Adidas USA is apparently going to help high schools interested in ridding themselves of their Native American mascots with uniform design help (which I am sure won’t enhance the brand’s bottom line at all), but more importantly, this news could open the floodgates for some of those companies so callously treated in the Washington NFL trademark appeal. For instance, “The Reformed Whores Concert Tour, brought to you by Originals X Rita Ora.”
Sounds creepier that way, doesn’t it?
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According to TSN’s Darren Dreger, who doubles as the Trudeau’s government’s shadow minister for buying the beer for the weekend, the NHL’s three-on-three overtime has been such a success that it's being talked about as a potential replacement for the traditional All-Star Game. The game, to be held in Nashville, has become an interest of general manager who are kicking around the idea of a March Madness-style tournament.
In other words, the NHL is stealing FanGraftDuelThings daily fantasy idea and running with it while shooting its middle finger into the rear view mirror for emphasis. If that isn’t good for society, then nothing is, and we may as well give the planet back to the frogs.
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The perpetually annoying debate about whether a hot dog is or is not technically a sandwich has reared its ugly head again, first in the Buffalo Bills locker room and now with the Atlanta Falcons.
The imitative aspects of an idea-deficient media aside, let’s just say it now. Yes, a hot dog is a sandwich. Yes, a hot dog is also ground up death rammed into a casing about the size and attractiveness of an intestine. And yes, a hot dog is what you eat when the guy at the counter says he’s out of Italian sausage and bratwurst.
There. All matters settled. Now the rest of you ill-bred misery factories will shut up about it forever, capisce?
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Golfer Boo Weekley thinks there is too much golf in his life, and frankly, other than his career earnings of $13,536,352, it’s hard to argue with him.
“Honestly, this wraparound season sucks,” Weekley said. “It does, seriously . . . It’s just, it’s stupid. I still ain’t figured out this FedEx. What does this FedEx Cup stuff do? It ain’t doing nothing, but it is what it is. It’s supposed to be the players’ tour. It’s Tim Finchem and them’s tour, is what it is. It’s aggravating having to play this much, but yet it’s important to come out and try to get a good start.”
Then he said some nice things about the rookie golfers, but then returned with a strong finish.
“It’s just golf after golf after golf,” he said. “Ain’t no time for hunting and fishing, man.”
Two things: One, why not skip some tournaments, Cubby? And two, golf courses being placed where they are, Weekley could put a hunting rifle and a rod in his bag and kill two (or more) of God’s creatures with one stone.
In other words, Boo, be a Boy Scout. Be resourceful.
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And finally, THIS right here is what we want from fans on television: After Norwegian second division team Byrne FC barely escaped relegation on the season’s final day, one fan named Bjorn Serigstad Ege was caught on camera by a mic jockey who asked him how he felt and in turn treated us all a new meme for the ages:
“If my wife is watching: she has to milk the cows, I’m going to the pub.”
Words to live by in these perilous times. Sure beats Ben Carson's, "I think the pyramids are really grain silos" failed fifth grade history essays.