The Great Chicago White Sox Parenting Debate caused people to go all nutcase about something in which they have no stake at all, namely, how Adam LaRoche chooses to parent his son, and mostly nutcase about something in which they have almost stake at all, namely, whether the White Sox have the right to run spring training the way they want.
Both sides got to vote on the principle they hold dearer, and both sides will almost certainly vote again. I’m guessing there will be a compromise on how “free range” free range son Drake LaRoche will be in the future.
But in case there is any question in the minds of either of my children whether I would keep a $13 million job and make them stay at home every now and then, or give up the job and keep them nearby at all times . . . well, you can always get other kids.
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Jake Plummer, the former quarterback, feels so good in his footballing afterlife that he thought about offering his services to one of his former teams, the Denver Broncos. There is, however, a kicker, courtesy Sean Wagner-McGough of CBSSports.com.
“A decade later, Plummer is still feeling good enough to play in the NFL.
Why? The answer is something called cannabidiol (CBD). ‘I owe a lot of that to CBD and what it's done for me,’ Plummer said.
Cannabidiol is a cannabis compound that has significant medical benefits, but does not make people feel "stoned" and can actually counteract the psychoactivity of THC. The fact that CBD-rich cannabis is non-psychoactive or less psychoactive than THC-dominant strains makes it an appealing option for patients looking for relief from inflammation, pain, anxiety, psychosis, seizures, spasms, and other conditions without disconcerting feelings of lethargy or dysphoria."
So going back to the NFL and its cutting-edge 19th century views on health and employee care seems like a counterproductive move – unless Plummer is trying to offer players a pain management idea that might get a conversation jump-started.
Or maybe he’s just trying to scare the loaded trousers off Roger Goodell, which we also approve.
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In other retiree news, the Miami Marlins held an informal back-field kind-of-home run derby Wednesday which was won by Giancarlo Stanton . . .
Okay. Christian Yelich.
Barry Bonds? Yes. Of course Barry Bonds.
Bonds hit at least four homers as part of an informal team runs contest with Stanton, Yelich, Miguel Rojas, Jeff Mathis and Chris Johnson.
“We keep it under wraps. We weren't having a home run derby,” Yelich told Joe Frisaro of MLB.com, who’d been tipped of by SiriusXM’s Craig Mish. “We were trying to make hard contact and get hits. It turned into who could score the most runs. If you hit a homer, it was a run.”
“It was very impressive,” Stanton said. “(Put) another 51-year-old out there and he probably snap his back in half. That was probably one of the coolest things we've done.”
And Bonds? “No comment.”
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Comment, though, was not a problem for Jonathan Toews of the Chicago Blackhawks, who told the redoubtable Maggie Hendricks and Hemal Jhaveri that he believes in a contentious issue that pits reality against tinfoil hats.
“It’s sad that it’s still a debate in this country,” he said. “It’s mind-blowing in a lot of ways. If we can start having the conversation, at least make people more aware of what’s going on. We live in an age of information. People want to know, and it’s right in front of them. You have access to the information, and once you get that going, people will demand change.”
You have to admire his belief in people’s best intentions, even if it makes him utterly delusional. If we know anything about American in the 21st century, it is that you can’t tell anyone anything about anything, any time.
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FIFA will never not FIFA, no matter what. Even after the political upheaval that changed the top of the organizational chart, every member still wears a balaclava and packs heat in search of money.
Now they’ve gone to the U.S. Attorney’s office and filed a series of claims to take back their bribe money by portraying themselves in the scheme they hatched, shared and were gutted by, while admitting they took bribes! Yay honesty and theft at the same time!
One of the claims is for $10 million paid by the South African FA, routed through FIFA and into accounts controlled by former CONCACAF head Jack Warner in exchange for his wrangling up votes for the 2010 World Cup.
In addition, FIFA wants $28.2 million for years of payments, including bonuses, flights and daily expenses, to officials it now says are corrupt, “substantial” legal costs, and damages for harm to its reputation, plus other bribes and kickbacks for media rights to non-FIFA competitions but “which were made possible because of the value of the FIFA brand.”
“The FIFA brand.” Let that rattled around your skull, and then reach for your wallet out of instinctive fear.
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And finally, we leave you with one of those damned life lessons that we hate to provide, only it’s Warriors-related, and you know how obsessed we have to be with them these days. On Jermaine O’Neal, from the noted former Soviet Socialist Republic Chris Ballard of Sports Illustrated:
These days the question O’Neal hears most from his son’s friends is, “Did you play with Steph?” Says O’Neal: “He’s like their modern-day Jordan.”
That, of course, can’t be because we have it on good and plentiful authority that Curry could never have played back in the day. Too small, too soft, teams were better. Damn kids.