Shame on Draymond Green, and while we’re at it, shame on Golden State general manager Bob Myers, too. Shame on B.J. Armstrong, Green’s agent, and shame on Joe Lacob. Shame on Steve Kerr and Tom Izzo and everyone else responsible for this outrage.
The outrage? The fact that neither Green nor Myers nor anyone else could figure out how to run a simple contract impasse. What kind of educations do they hand out at Michigan State and UCLA, anyway – welder’s licenses?
This morning, Green and the Warriors had broken off talks because they couldn’t agree on a new deal as part of the NBA’s annual money orgy. While others were raking in flying cash like grifters at a casino explosion, Green got his back up, and so did Lacob, and we were looking forward to days and maybe even weeks of rampant snark and and vile accusations and marrow-cutting tweets from Mary Babers-Green.
Instead, the impasse lasted from just before lunch until just after dinner. Not one hateful remark. Not one.
Instead, Green got nearly the maximum allowed him – five years and $82 million. Not Anthony Davis money, mind you, but more than Stephen Curry money. If that can’t make a fella happy, then that’s a fella who drinks alone.
[RELATED: Report: Draymond, Warriors agree to new deal]
But we as a nation were cheated out of one of the most entertaining potential holdouts in history. Green is the best . . . well, least abashed smack-talker in the NBA, Richard Sherman without the scare-the-hell-out-of-Doris-Burke moment. This would have been right up his street.
And while Myers has never burned down as much as a single thatched hut with his tongue, it wouldn’t have taken much to get Lacob to turn purple. He has been much under control during this, the Warrior Renaissance, but getting called a vice-fisted cheapskate by an employee might have snapped his trolley to our entertainment benefit.
Instead . . . feh. Nothing. Happy faces and hearty handshakes all around, and frankly, who the hell needs that? Green missed a max deal by $11 million and change, and if he wants to turn that into motivation for the next five years, Lord knows he’ll be able to, but watching him explain how being shorted half a year’s salary coal-stokes his competitive fires isn’t going to be nearly as convincing as the inner rage that sprang from his being drafted 35th after his senior year by a team that could have drafted him twice before then.
In fact, by now he probably needs to come up with a different reason than that for why he feels underappreciated. What’s he going to give us now – “I’m making less per year than Paul Millsap? Jimmy Butler is worth more than me? You’re telling me I’m only 58.62 percent as good as Anthony Davis? Goran Dragic got $90 million, really?”
That’s not going to cut it. Being dissed in negotiations would have done it. This wasn’t a dissing. This was a “We’ll give you whatever you want, save the right to keep our clothes and parking passes” negotiation. This satisfied everyone.
In other words, this wasn’t an impasse. This was a passe. And that’s not what we signed up for, not even close. You can’t say you’re going to have an argument and then never argue and expect us to take you seriously.
But there is still a sliver of hope here. Maybe Green will say something about Peter Guber’s next boat payment, or complain about Nick U’Ren’s merit raise. Come on, throw us a bone here.