Hope is a hellish trap that leads all who engage in it to a horrifying end.
At least that is how Oakland Raiders fans should view the upcoming season. Not because the Raiders aren’t one of the most intriguing teams in your 2016 NFL – they are, absolutely – but because Raider fans should know that when people say nice things about you, you should expect the familiar feel of other people’s hands trying to get at your wallet.
This is not another breathless yet turgid analysis of the team’s prospects this season. Comrade Bair has you covered there, though we can explain it all in this phrase, suitable for nearly all teams:
“Barring injury, they could be fascinating, but lose the wrong guy and they’re toast.”
[BAIR: AFC West preview: Raiders end playoff drought]
That’s the problem with the modern NFL. Not only is it getting younger, cheaper and less skilled on the field, it is also more a matter of luck than ever – that is, unless you think luck can actually be controlled with will and planning, otherwise known as Belichick’s Third Theorem.
But this isn’t about how everything goes to hell if Derek Carr doesn’t see that homicidal linebacker coming in on his blind side, or if Khalil Mack gets his leg pinned under some oafish tackle. This is about what Raider fans have been conditioned to believe over the years, and what they actually consider to be their world view, which is this:
“It is better to take hope and anticipation from others than to receive it.”
True, for all their complaints that the Raiders have received no respect (and based on the post-Super Bowl era, they’ve actually gotten more respect than they deserve), they want to believe that all other fan bases and neutral observers secretly have it in for the Raiders, and that any good thoughts are actually bear traps covered in leaves. It is how they have defined themselves and their belief system, not only in the great old days but in the more recent Al-pocalypse.
So the promising reports that the end of the 13-year bus ride through Satan’s rec room is nigh should be greeted by Raider fans with withering scorn, as if to say, “Don’t tell us when we’re back. WE’LL tell YOU when we’re back.” It’s like having intensely desired proprietary information – keeping it from other people until exactly the right moment is most of the fun.
Now it could be that we’ve missed our guess here, and that Raider fans have been assimilated into the greater “say nice things about us or we will shun you Internetically” world where “respect” among fan bases actually matters. After all, it’s been a long time since the Raiders were the team that didn’t actually care what you thought and fostered that feeling in their customer base.
And maybe the low hum of Las Vegas is playing at their wills, because while moving the franchise out of Oakland is not yet a fait accompli, there is so far nothing deterring it from happening, and Raider fans have already been run through the wringer on that with Los Angeles (but not, as some might think, San Antonio).
But we think not. We think being a Raider fan is still a DNA thing, where the best wishes of an outworlder are to be treated with the same withering disdain as actual scorn. We think Raider fans don’t want to hear from others how intriguing their team is, much preferring to (a) discover it on their own and (b) sticking a finger in your eye why they and they alone deliver the news to you.
It’s what they would call “the in-game experience,” only they don’t have to be at a game when it happens.
So keep quiet about the Raiders. Wait and see if all the glowing reports about their restoration and grand unveiling are actually true, and resist the urge to get too jazzed if they go into New Orleans and beat the Saints Sunday. If they lose or someone important gets hurt, well, they wouldn’t be the first overhyped longshot to disappoint.
But if they are all that, tape the windows and duck under a table. A human hurricane will be on its way, and it will have 13 years of pent-up frustration and dysfunction behind it, not to mention the Raider fan’s inherent desire to tell you what’s what rather than the other way around.
