While the next two weeks of your lives will be filled to the crusty brim with references to Harbowl, Harbaugh, Harbaugh Bowl and the entire Harbaugh Family Miracle, as played by Julie Andrews and Christopher Plummer, it is the intention of the owner of this squalid little corner of the Internet to do no such thing.
We will refer to the event of February 3, 2013 as the Super Bowl, or Super Bowl XLVII, or 47, or Ravens-49ers, or 49ers-Ravens, the Goodell Bacchanal, The $20,000 Weekend, or The Thing That Comes After The Pro Bowl.
But we will not refer at any time to the Harbaugh family, except specifically when one of the two coaches says something salient about the football game in question.
It’s not that we don’t like the Harbaughs (in varying degrees), or tributes to Scottish family life in general. But we know a story line that’s got a shelf life of mere hours when we see one, and this one was played out two Thanksgivings ago, when we were inundated with Harbaughiana.
[RATTO: We have ourselves another 'Har-Bowl' in New Orleans]
Thus, this statement of intent: We make no guarantee that this web site, CSNBayArea.com, the twitter feed @CSNAuthentic, and the entire CSN family of television networks tied to it, won’t beat the Harbaughtism thing to death in all other ways. We are all creatures of free will, and some have more tolerance for this sort of nuclear mawkishness than others.
We, however, have none. If that is buzzkillage, then that’s what it must be. Trust us, you’ll get your fill of it over the next two weeks, to the point where your answer to the question “Who’s Got It Better Than Us?” will provide the answer, “Syrian rebels,” “trapped coal miners,” or “All people everywhere who hate football.”
We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming, “Hell At 15 Feet: Andris Biedrins, The Man and His Free Throws.” And thank you for reading.