CSN Bay Area

Brian Wilson throws a knuckleball? Brian Wilson throws a knuckleball. Brian Wilson throws a knuckleball in a spring training start? Brian Wilson throws a knuckleball in a spring training start? Brian Wilson throws a knuckleball in September while wearing a welder’s helmet and a red gingham dress?

I’d put the odds right now at 17-14.

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When Russian men’s hockey coach Zinetula Bilyaletdinov did his post-Olympics presser, he ran wild with a clumsily delivered question about what he could expect from the public after the Russians failed to medal, and more specifically about being “eaten alive.”

Tuesday, he got canned. Bon appetit.

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TSN talking face James Duthie, the host of the network’s extravagant NHL trade deadline coverage, interviewed the freshly dealt goaltender Devin Dubnyk and asked what he thought Montreal had in mind for him when it acquired him:

Dubnyk’s answer: “For stopping pucks, I imagine.” Of course, because Dubnyk is Canadian, he was too polite to drop the mic and walk off, as he should have.

[RELATED: Sharks stand pat at trade deadline]

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Cortland Finnegan of the St. Louis Rams did roughly the same thing, only he did it to his employers. After an injury filled season in 2013 and with a contract for 2014 that would earn him $6 million and count $10 million against the Rams’ cap, Finnegan knew he was going to be cut, so after telling head coach Jeff Fisher he was going to retire, he tweeted the news for the rest of the team and organization to learn as you did.

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Anyone asking Nick Saban any more questions about the offense restrictor plate plan for college football deserves what he or she gets. Saban:

“The fastball guys (up-tempo coaches) say there’s no data out there, and I guess you have to use some logic. What’s the logic? If you smoke one cigarette, do you have the same chances of getting cancer if you smoke 20? I guess there’s no study that specifically says that. But logically, we would say, ‘Yeah, there probably is.’”

And logically, no plays at all would therefore be perfect. Maybe that’s Voldemort’s plan – getting paid to do nothing at all. Nice work if you can avoid it.

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The Buffalo Bills have decided to stop playing a home game each year in Toronto, and while it is being portrayed as a victory for the football department led by team President Russ Brandon and coach Doug Marrone, we know better.

No Toronto means no Rob Ford. Beat that with a stick.

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And finally, also from the NHL, this is why Tim Thomas is perfectly Tim Thomas. First, the tweet announcing Thomas’ trade from Florida to Dallas and from a starting job to a backup’s role, from TSN oracle Bob McKenzie:

Perfect.

Ray Ratto is a columnist for CSNBayArea.com