Trent Baalke said he “absolutely” expects Colin Kaepernick to be on the 49ers’ roster. That is, until he can find something better, or cheaper, or not so Kaepernick-y.
But when he was asked for his view of freshly decoupled Washington quarterback Robert Griffin III, he stopped short of stumbling over the truth, which is, “I wish I was Bruce Allen, so I could have my guy in my rearview mirror like he has his.” There is nothing Baalke would like more than Kaepernick falling in love with another team . . . and for that matter, so would Kaepernick.
Then again, Baalke was at the NFL’s annual Abattoir, Meat Market, Skills Competition and VARSAT (Vaguely Athletics Related Scholastic Aptitude Test), where the lies run thick and fast he probably would have been drummed out of the league if he had actually spoken a verifiable accuracy -– like say, admitting that he plans to ask every potential 49er quarterback he interviews, “How good are you at growing a lawn that will actually take root?”
In other words, we shouldn’t be all that critical of him for not spilling even the barest hint of his guts.
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Wait. I had a moment to think. Of course we should.
After all, Baalke looks and sounds like the kind of guy even used car salesman and narcotics informers would find unconvincing.
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The gloriously named Bethlehem Shoals of SB Nation turned out a defense of Stephen Curry’s sense of fun that would be compelling reason if not for one thing:
The fact that it needed to be mentioned at all.
Curry’s willingness to publicly enjoy the things he (and apparently nobody else) can do cannot possibly be offending enough people to deserve such an analysis, but it only takes a few morons to make a hot take that is neither.
That said, this is one of the most cogent defenses of something that doesn’t need defending you will find.
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Former Phillies and current Rangers pitcher Cole Hamels spent almost $69,000 to go to the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show at the 69th Regiment Armory in New York with his wife Heidi, wasn’t allowed in, and did what you would expect. He sued the people who sold him the tickets.
According to the lawsuit, he paid a company from the United Kingdom named Cornucopia for three VIP packages that included tickets to the fashion show, which the company apparently purported was in London. The lawsuit says Cornucopia told Hamels it could provide him with a VIP package that included tickets, hotel, a limo and other perks commensurate with such a hilarious outlay of money. At the time, the lawsuit alleges, Cornucopia said the show would not be returning to New York, where it has always been held, and would be in London instead.
The company still said it would have three tickets for Hamels in New York, but he was barred entrance when he and his wife arrived, and ended up having to settle for the afterparty alone.
Frankly, Hamels should win –- which is more than he could have expected had he kept pitching in Philadelphia.
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And really, while we’re at it, what says alluring lingerie, top-level models and an exquisite evening quite like the 69th Regiment Armory?
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This just in: Tiger Woods is not dying. And let’s check the how-much-do-you-care-o-meter –- no, the needle remains static.
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Alabama football took in $7 million less in profit when they won the national championship than they did the year before, when they didn’t. That means their profit after expenses was merely $46 million.
But at least the players got compensated. Oh wait, they didn’t. Unless they did secretly. But nobody does that. Frankly, this looks like a job for Trent Baalke.
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And finally, Stephen Curry enjoyed making another no-look pass that led to a basket. He should be jailed.