The Sharks went on a team playdate Sunday, and deity-of-your-choice only knows what they did, or where they did it (I know a lot of them have Dave & Buster’s coupons, if that helps). But whatever it is they can’t figure out is still funnier and less weird than what the Chicago Blackhawks have been living with.
Namely, rumors (aggressively denied by all parties) that the dressing room is blowing itself to bits over as-yet-unsubstantiated stories regarding veteran wing Patrick Sharp. If true, it would render the room irreparable; if false, it is scurrilous to the point of legally actionable.
The trade deadline is Monday. You may want to be more interested in this than you usually are.
[RELATED: Sinking Sharks hold 'Sunday Funday']
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Marshawn Lynch opened up a bit about his post-Super Bowl feelings, and did so on Turkish television. In short, he expected the ball on the last play, would have liked the ball, and thinks there might be something to the conspiracy theorists who see commercial involvement in the playcalling decision.
Of course you know what this means. We all have to learn Turkish and subscribe to NTV Spor. Hey, isn’t that the Mustapha Collinsworth Show?
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Mark Davis wants a 55,000-seat stadium in Oakland. Actually, that isn’t entirely true. What he wants is half an 80,000-seat stadium in Carson, but he’s just playing our game until he gets a green light to blow town.
But the size of the stadium, if he stays in Oakland, is interesting. It’s 5,000 seats larger than the Coliseum was in the Raiders’ heyday (as in, when he was barely beyond a glint in his father’s eye), and based on what we know about the unnamed terrorists’ newfound interest in football venues via Tom Ridge and AEG, it’ll be smaller than either the place he already is or the place he wants to go.
Now that’s tactical thinking. Daft, but tactical.
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Hockey free agent Dustin Penner shared a bit of a rape joke on Twitter Saturday, with the customary blowback. He semi-retreated behind a semi-apology which was actually a lot less than semi-, but that remark led to links of previous Penner remarks, and suddenly he was pulled from TSN’s trade deadline coverage Monday. In other words, an important lesson has been relearned, to wit:
Not everything is funny just because you say it. The riskier the material, the better comedian you had better be, and if your material is rape, you’d better be close to the best comedian ever, actually are the best comedian ever, or smart enough to know you aren’t either, and give it a pass.
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Presented as either a huge story just uncovered, or as a hoax – a purported PGA pro told a Lansing, MI radio station that Tiger Woods was suspended from the tour for drugs. Draw your own conclusion, and stay close just in case: http://bit.ly/1auMuhm.
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This is what JaVale McGee said when traded from Denver to Philadelphia about a rumored buyout of his contract:
“I don't want to get bought out. That's not a positive thing. When you think about it, you don't get all of your money when you get bought out. So it doesn't make sense why someone would want to get bought out unless they are older -- older and they want to go to a contender or something. I'm not that old. I just want to play basketball.”
In a major surprise, McGee and the 76ers are talking feverishly about buying him out of his contract. The NBA will die because of hyperactive accountants run rampant.
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And here’s the team he left, via Christopher Dempsey of the Denver Post:
“A fourth-quarter huddle late in the Nuggets' 104-82 loss to the Utah Jazz on Friday broke with this phrase: ‘1-2-3 ... six weeks!’ As in six weeks to go until the end of the season. That's 24 games, 46 days and 1,152 minutes away. Tax day, April 15, is getaway day: the last day of the Nuggets' season. Rest assured, there are players who are already counting.
“And if by now you've already connected the dots to the similarity with (Los Angeles Laker) Nick Van Exel's infamous ‘1-2-3 ... Cancun!’ in 1998, you win the Showcase Showdown.”
So now we’re boredom-tanking, are we? Swell. Yay America.
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And finally, speaking of tanking, it is my considered view that the Golden State Warriors are going to play more games like Sunday’s, just to see how big a lead they can let a team have before catching them. They’ve erased 27-point (Toronto - 2013) and now 26-point (Boston) deficits, so maybe they haven’t reached their event horizon yet.
That whoosh you just heard was Steve Kerr’s brain shooting out his nostrils.