Programming note: Former 49ers executive Carmen Policy joins Jim Kozimor, Ray Ratto and Tim Kawakami Tuesday at 9 p.m. on CSN SportsTalk Live on CSN Bay Area.
Carmen Policy, who is fronting the grand Chargers-Raiders-Carson stadium plan, decided to help the NFL realign its divisions to satisfy any voters who might be leaning toward Stan Kroenke’s Ingle-centric world view. Policy, the noted 49ers’ counselor/hall monitor, said Monday that the teams have agreed to shift divisions, if necessary, to make the project acceptable to the league.
That’s nice to know, but the NFL would have done that anyway, so Policy’s magnanimousness is essentially wasted on people who take/give/insist upon what they want because they are what Policy and Eddie DeBartolo used to be.
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But if you want push, there’s Baltimore Ravens coach John Harbaugh, who at the end of an irk-rant about the immigration stalemate in America (hey, its training camp, and every day is a bore-o-slog), was told jokingly by one reporter that he should run for President in 2016. His response:
“I might be coming out. I might be running. Could I get a couple of votes here?”
And then he went rogue and said his running mate would be his brother Jim. Swell – a guy who wants to get elected so that he can be the target of a coup d’etat. Even Donald Trump wouldn’t endorse that, and he’s Donald Trump.
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In other inside-the-beltway blockheadery, Washington Shiny-Helmeted Beings president Bruce Allen said the team will not reconsider changing its name, even if it's a political barrier to a potential new stadium in the D.C.
He was asked about it Monday and gave it all the thought Danny Snyder would want him to give when he said, “No.”
That is, until it’s “yes,” and the league hasn’t yet considered the name a properly fiduciary matter. In short, when it can put a dollar sign on the problem, it will be solved, and Allen will be just as confident when he emits that “yes.”
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More Allen, according to Liz Clarke of the Washington Post. Attendance at the team’s training camp in Richmond is down 44 percent from last year, and Allen spun it like the acrobat he is.
“If you look at what we’re doing here, the fans that come do enjoy it,” Allen said, turning a simple question into authentic gibberish. “They even got to see a fight this year, which was something new here at Bon Secours’ facility.”
Sounds like if the team struggles the way it has recently, the team might be instructed to a full heel turn and recreate the old penalty-crazed Raiders of . . . well, 1963, 1966, 1968, 1969, 1975, 1982, 1984, 1991, 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2009, 2010 and 2011. To name a few.
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In case you want to complain about the Warriors’ schedule (and you are an ass if you do), try this, from David Fleming of ESPN. Spoiler alert: Biloxi went 33-21 and won the Southern League South first-half title. So the Warrior schedule is nothing, nothing at all.
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49er rookie Mike Davis tweeted out the dinner bill he apparently got stuck with by veteran teammates the other night – a tidy $1878.59. While it isn’t clear whether other rookies were involved in this minor case of wallet-hazing or not, and while the outrage over someone with his guaranteed money (the bill was .0004 of his yearly salary) was off-putting, the receipt he did thoughtfully tweet did not include the traditional 18 percent tip for large groups.
We need more information. Lots more information.
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Blackpool FC, which was once in the Premier League before having gravity strike, has deteriorated over the past few years, and now have the singular honor of having its official Twitter account call its fans (hand to your deity if choice) “arsehole wankers.”
Seems a Tangerines fan contacted @CommercialBFC, the Twitter account in question, and offered to donate £20 to charity if the team’s Bloomfield Road field was green and klush rather than Levi’d in time for the home opener against Rochdale. The team’s response was that the pitch was in good condition and that the £20 was on its way to the Gary Parkinson foundation. The fan responded and said he’d send the money because it was for a good cause, at which point the Tweeter on duty kicked back a cheery “typical back-track arsehole wankers.”
The account has since been closed, but it’s nice to know that supporter outreach is as successful as ever.
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And finally, according to the delightfully charming yet irretrievably vicious Bill Shaikin of the Los Angeles Times, Vin Scully has not yet made up his mind about coming back for 2016, when he will be 88 and starting his 67th season with the Dodgers. If this helps at all, Vin:
“DON’T MAKE US COME DOWN THERE AND SHAKE YOU BY YOUR EYELIDS! YOU SIGN ON AGAIN NOW, AND YOU KEEP SIGNING ON UNTIL WE TELL YOU TO STOP, OR ELSE WE WILL BOX YOUR EARS UNTIL THEY BOTH END UP ON THE SAME SIDE OF YOUR HEAD!”
“Sincerely, your very good pals up north.”
Sometimes empty threats are the best threats of all.