If you’re confused by the storm of NBA rumors these days, Bryan Curtis of Grantland is taking you on a tour of the process and the processors, but this must be said:
With all the LeBron fetishizing, nobody had Channing Frye going to the Orlando Magic. What good is a rumor mill if it doesn’t cover every eventuality?
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Or maybe everyone was confused by the fact that Cavs owner Dan Gilbert’s petulant but famous Comic Sans letter to Cavs fans when James left Ohio could still be accessed on the Cavs’ own web site. The team actually had to go to the NBA for tech help to get the letter eradicated, especially now that they’re trying to woo LeBron back, but I’d bet serious money that James could recite back to Gilbert during negotiations.
And will. Go IT Apologies!
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Then again, maybe losing the letter has helped the Cavs at the place that matters most – the online betting shop.
More bets have been placed on Cleveland to win the 2015 NBA title than any other team at the Las Vegas Superbook. Even with no news on the LeBron front, the Cavs' odds to win next year's championship have improved from 60-1 to 30-1 in the last two weeks. William Hill’s Nevada book odds have plummeted from 50-1 to 20-1 in three weeks.
The Warriors? They’re 25-1, 5-1 if they somehow got James, and since there are no rumors to that effect, no rumor-free deal can legally be approved by the NBA.
So Go Cavs!
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Manchester United’s new uniforms feature the Chevrolet logo, and as a result are being panned by those who care about such things. Oddly, though, they wore the AIG logo for years, and we all know how that ended, so Chevy can only be an improvement, right?
The point? There’s no such thing as a bad sponsorship, unless the feds are hauling your sponsor’s files out by the truckload.
Go Plea Bargaining!
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The easiest money in sports this weekend was earned by two women, Petra Kvitova at Wimbledon and Ronda Rousey at UFC 175. The two combined for 55 minutes of work, with Kvitova handling 54:44 of that.
Frankly, Kvitova should have asked for a piece of Rousey’s money. And Rousey would have offered to fight her for it, thereby ending the negotiations then and there.
So Go Punchout!
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The Minnesota Twins have decided to begin the process of ridding the world of something that frankly we didn’t think was a problem: People at ballparks who sell beer.
Target Field has just installed a self-serve beer machine, the first to ever exist in a major-league stadium. You’re sold a card that operates pretty much like BART, where you put an amount on it and use the card to measure out your beer at cents-per-ounce intervals. It sounds perfectly awful, a tribute to mindless technology nobody asked for.
In other words, Go Vendors!
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And now, from Bud Selig: “The Office of the Commissioner of Baseball announced today that Oakland Athletics Minor League outfielder Herschel “Boog” Powell has received a 50-game suspension without pay after testing positive for an Amphetamine in violation of the Minor League Drug Prevention and Treatment Program.”
This is interesting only because of the name Herschel ‘Boog’ Powell. That’s a name for the ages, and may he have a long and mostly cheery baseball career so we can all say “Herschel ‘Boog’ Powell” as often as possible.
So yes, Go Boog!
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And finally, from world-best seller-that-ought-to-be, “I Am Zlatan,” by Swedish soccer megastar Zlatan Ibrahimovic, who explained how he bought his home in Sweden and left the remodeling and décor to his wife Helena, except for one item.
“I wasn't as involved as she was. I don't have the same instinct for those things, but there was one thing I contributed. On the red feature wall in the foyer, I hung a big picture of two dirty feet.
“When my friends came by, they were all like, ‘Awesome, wicked, cool place you've got here. But what are these disgusting feet doing here? How can you have this s--- on your wall?’
“’You idiots,’ I said. ‘Those feet have paid for all of this.’”