He’s 1-0, so Jim Tomsula is suddenly a swell guy, because that’s the rule. Deadspin’s Samer Kalaf, a proud member of the toughest audience in all media, decided to make the turn on the one-time piñata Wednesday morning with this, under the seemingly treacherous headine, “Jim Tomsula Should Be Your Favorite Coach:”
“Tomsula’s appeal is his seemingly genuine nature. When he had to deal with a serious situation in releasing Aldon Smith, he handled it extremely well. It would normally be safe to assume a statement was prepared with specific details on when to look pained, but as we learned when Tomsula was first hired, this man struggles to feign interest. Jim Tomsula is seemingly incapable of bulls------g anyone.”
But Kalaf knows the game, too, especially how being a guy with artifice is ultimately punished: “Down the line, this might prove to be his downfall.”
Here, Kalaf is wrong. Tomsula’s downfall will come when he asks for a raise.
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All that said, I wonder what Tomsula would do if Sunshine Lynch dropped a bag of quarters on him the way she did Seattle offensive coordinator Darrel Bevell. I’m guessing he’d invite her for dinner while he fixed that annoying squeak in her suspension.
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Pacman Jones got dunned $35K for using Amari Cooper’s helmet as a turnbuckle, and predictably announced, “Go ahead. Ask me! Yeah, I got fined. 35K. Way too much for a football play. I'll appeal.”
I’ll say this much: He has a great deal of faith in the notion that Roger Goodell is tired of being dean of students.
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Rashad Jennings of the New York Giants is a smart fellow. By apologizing for a situation in which he was entirely the victim of bad advice from his quarterback, Eli Manning, he became a hallowed piece of sport’s mythmaking machine – the guy who takes the bullet for his mates when he doesn’t have to.
Most of the time, this rings false because journalists, for all their other faults (like not finding a more dignified way to pay the bills, like loan sharking of car repossessions), can spot excrement for P.R. purposes a mile away.
But Jennings plays in New York, and understands how the media whirl spins – I mean, it isn’t hard; players understand media better than media understand players, and that’s been true for most of the existence of their relationship.
Jennings said something that was true but got Manning, who had dug his own ditch in Sunday’s tracheotomy against Dallas, into more heat. Jennings saw that this would cause grief to a guy who already gets plenty, didn’t worry about whatever minimal damage might be done to his own reputation, and apologized for being honest and for not immediately foreseeing the way it would play in the local market.
The apology won’t work, of course. Everyone has already decided that to cover football, one must focus with laser-like intent upon the quarterback at all times, and everyone in New York has already taken their stand on Manning, who has the unusual resume of having won two Super Bowls and precious little else.
But empty gestures matter in the world of sporting etiquette – it’s part of the unwritten code people mock while acknowledging that it is important to those who choose to live by it. Jennings’ apology was an empty gesture that was appreciated by those to whom it would matter most – his quarterback and his head coach.
Rashad Jennings, you see, plays chess while most around him play checkers. That’s an important skill after the madness that is his current job ends.
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The mayor of Montreal, Denis Coderre, said there will be an announcement about baseball in his city on Friday. If it isn’t that the Dodgers are moving, I doubt many people here will care. But whatever it is, there had better be a law that whatever team plays there must wear the old Expos tricolored hat. Otherwise, what is Canada for?
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Also in Montreal, Canadiens defenseman P.K. Subban made a $10 million contribution to Montreal Children’s Hospital. As a reward, his first bad pass of the year will be rewarded by cries of, “If he really loved children, he’d have given $10,000,001.”
Because we know what’s truly important.
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Fan Duel and Draft Kings pulled in twice as much money as the Las Vegas casinos did over the weekend, proving that the ad avalanche you all complained about turned out to be an excellent business choice.
Or that the New Jersey congressman who wants the fantasy sites investigated for potential regulation and taxation is on to something. Either way, the more people who play, the more sharps who play, and the more sharps who play, the lesser your chance of winning becomes. So actually it IS just like Vegas.
Life is a circle, after all, and it sends us all down the gurgler.
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Some people on Twitter noticed that the Dodgers’ 16-inning game with Colorado was cutting into Vin Scully’s well-earned sleep, which reminds us that Scully is the only person ever to avoid criticism on Twitter ever . . . or as we have come to know it, Snarkville Flats. As a relentless contributor to that dolorous condition, I will say that you needn’t worry about Scully. He will outlive us all, because good old fashioned storytelling is actually the only thing that guarantees a long life. Everything else, from nutrition to exercise to stress-free living to thinking nothing but good thoughts – that’s all crap. Learn to tell stories like Vin, and you’ll be a burden to your great-grandchildren.
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If Bruce Bochy has any kind of sense of the moment at all, his final lineup card should read:
1. Chris Heston, CF
2. Tim Lincecum, 2B
3. Ryan Vogelsong, C
4. Madison Bumgarner, P
5. Jake Peavy, 3B
6. Mike Leake, RF
7. Tim Hudson, 1B
8. Matt Cain, LF
9. Jeremy Affeldt, SS
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And finally, welcome to David Feherty, the newest addition to NBC’s unruly mob of golf thugs. Keep all receipts, turn in your expenses before you accrue them, and never try to take a pen out of the building without authorization in triplicate. They’ll beat you like an urchin in a Dickens novel. I've seen it happen.