One last notion on the Adam LaRoche story that occurred to me far too late is this:
What if it was the owner, Jerry Reinsdorf, who decided on a whim that Drake LaRoche was around too much, and told vice president Kenny Williams to do something about it? It would make more sense for Williams to play the heavy for the guy who pays him than to do it on his own whim.
Call this the fourth active theory that possesses no actual evidence for a conundrum that may never be revealed, after “Kenny Williams is just a cruel man,” “Players complained anonymously,” and “The White Sox wanted out from under LaRoche’s $13 million contract.” All these theories have their holes, which is why this story hasn’t dissipated yet.
And don’t let that bother you. It took a mathematician named Andrew Wiles most of his adult like to solve Fermat’s Last Theorem, which had gone unsolved for 350 years, and another 22 years for him to win the $700,000 Abel Prize for solving it. You learn to wait. Fortunately, there’s red wine to help with the waiting.
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Oh, and so you don’t have to ask your nine-year-old, Fermat’s Last Theorem is, “There are no whole number solutions to the equation xn + yn = zn when n is greater than 2.” It’s less complicated than range factor, VORP and BABIP, if that helps.
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If math isn’t your thing, maybe journalism hijinks are, so here’s one.
Spanish tabloid El Confidencial claimed this week that Porto (and former Real Madrid and Spain) goalkeeper Iker Casillas is miserable at the club, and ran quotes from the club president, Pinto da Costa, suggesting that the feeling is mutual to the point where he ripped Casilla to “close friend and Porto fan” Jose Manuel de Mello, saying, “His (Casillas’s) signing has been a fiasco. Some of his performances have cost us games, the league and our early exit in the Champions League. His salary is unaffordable for the club. If he goes to the US – and I have been told that the New York City FC want him – it will be the best outcome.”
The next day, the club responded, quoting the club president thus: “It states that I had dinner at the home of a great fan of the club, and a friend of mine, José Manuel de Mello.
Problem is I have never even met the gentleman, and, according to what I was told, he unfortunately passed away a couple of years ago.”
I’m not convinced, though. How many owners don’t truly believe they talk with the dead all the time?
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In other news that covers both soccer and animal husbandry, Bayern Munich rallied from a 2-0 first-half deficit against Juventus to first tie their Champions League quarterfinal and then score twice more in extra time. The key, courtesy Bayern’s Thomas Muller, came from head coach Pep Guardiola, who brought out a tactical whiteboard, made a massive adjustment that changed the tenor of Bayern’s resolve.
According to Muller, “He told us that he’d cut our balls off.”
And you baboons go on and on about how good Bruce Bochy and Steve Kerr are with players. You should be ashamed.
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And finally, here’s to Florida Gulf Coast and North Carolina Wilmington and Texas Tech and Colorado and Iona and Hampton and Austin Peay and Chattanooga and Purdue and Arizona and Southern California and Fresno State and Buffalo and Stony Brook and Seton Hall and especially Baylor. They don’t think Sunday’s selection show was too long at all.