San Francisco defensive coordinator Vic Fangio explained part of Jim Harbaugh’s secret to success: “He’s got good assistants.”
And the thing he wanted to add but didn’t? “AND NONE OF THEM EVER GET ASKED TO WORK FOR OTHER PEOPLE!”
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Another winning remark comes from the noted wit, raconteur and wet-work specialist David Stern, who when apprised by ESPN’s Marc Stein that Dallas owner Mark Cuban would like to squeeze out one final massive league fine for old time’s sake before Stern’s retirement-ette in two weeks: “I know he is trying, but our muffin fund coffers are overflowing.”
Come on, Dave-O, he wants to give you a going-away prezzie, and what says love more than a scone the size of Maryland?
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And one more offering of genius, this from Newcastle United’s director of football and malaproppery, Joe Kinnear, who explained in Newcastle’s game-day program last weekend the team’s philosophy on transfer acquisitions:
“(We want) to recruit players whose futures are ahead of them, not behind.”
“We want,” as though the team has bought players who are physically aligned backwards in the past and didn’t work out the way the club had hoped.
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The ECHL's Bakersfield Condors, who gave us the Abe Lincoln at Gettysburg jerseys earlier this season, are now offering "Undie Sunday," at which fans will be encouraged to hurl their bras and underwear onto the ice after the Condors' first goal.
They are obviously skating in hope of early success and smaller adults.
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In other hockey news, U.S. women's hockey goalie Jessie Vetter had her mask vetoed by the IOC because it featured an image of the Constitution on the back.
Re: Yahoo’s Puck Daddy, Vetter had to get her mask repainted because it ran afoul of Rule 50.3 of the Olympic Charter, which states “No kind of demonstration or political, religious or racial propaganda is permitted in any Olympic sites, venues or other areas.”
But those flags and national anthems? Purer than newly driven Tibetan snow.
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DeAngelo Hall, the former Raider and current Washingtonian, told Keepin’ It Real With Mike Hill he thinks the team ought to and eventually will change its nickname.
“They probably should,” Hall said, (courtesy Sarah Kogod of the Washington Post). “But they won’t for a while at least.”
Hmmm. That “they” implies he’s not going to worry about the team’s nickname this coming season.
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Bad news for curling fans. Elite curlers are now (damned them) pushing away the beers and getting in shape. “The people playing look like athletes now,” said American curler John Shuster. “In the Olympic Village, we used to stick out. Like, 'Oh, there's those curlers.’”
But it’s worse, according to Team Canada’s E.J. Harnden. “It's gotten to the point where it's actually rare, when you're at a high-level event, for two teams to go for a drink afterwards. The two teams will still sit down, but they'll be sipping a water or having a protein shake.”
Curling, you are dead to me.
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And finally, Tim Connors beat the crowd and slapped a Seahawks Super Champions tattoo on his arm before the start of the regular season. Of course, T-shirts that would have to bear that legend are shipped off to underprivileged countries to be worn by the locals, so Tim may want to go with sleeves for a couple of weeks, just in case the NFL has a FedEx label and claims it has the rights to his arm.