Though you may be distracted by the not-close-to-a-bench-emptying brawl in the ninth inning of A’s-Tigers, the dance of death stares between Grant Balfour and Victor Martinez finally eliminated the non-story of Al Alburquerque kissing the ball in the AL Division Series a year ago.
Put another way, if I want to talk about animosity between teams, I’d much rather have Balfour and Martinez exchanging hearty “F--- you, b----” salutations to Alburquerque making out with Bud Selig’s signature any day.
X X X
Matt Flynn is the answer to the question, “How much less than afraid are the Oakland Raiders of dead money?” He is the answer to a lot of questions, but that’s the biggest one.
Followed by “How quickly can he catch a plane to Green Bay?”
X X X
Rick’s Cabaret New York, the famous gentlemen’s club in midtown Manhattan, will no longer show New York Giants games because they are such a bringdown. From Busted Coverage, this quote from "Cabaret Girl Monica:" “It has become too painful to watch the Giants lose week after week.” And from the equally cabaret-ish and girly "Lindsay," “Nobody throws a party better than Rick’s Cabaret–we are all about fun–and it’s no fun watching the Giants anymore. We love the Giants, but they get the crowd at our Weekend Football Viewing Parties all depressed.”
In other words, the world's oldest profession is now whining about Tom Coughlin.
X X X
Peter Laviolette’s firing as Philadelphia Flyers coach after three games set an NHL record for haste, but owner Ed Snider provided a brand new metric for that haste.
“Quite frankly, I was disappointed in the preseason we had,” Snider said. “I’m hoping for better. We always try to make the team as good as we possibly can. Sometimes we're not right.”
In other words, there is a secret Stanley Cup for September games we don’t know about, and that’s bad tactical planning by the league office. I mean, if guys can get smoked for looking bad in practice games, then practice games mean a lot more than we realized. And that means you can charge more for practice games, which means . . . well, that you can charge more for practice games.
X X X
Former Cincinnati Bengals coach Sam Wyche said he was once threatened by former NFL commissioner Pete Rozelle about, of all the things, running the no-huddle offense. “We had the No. 1 offense in football, that's all we practiced all week long, that's how we got to the AFC championship,” he said, “and then two hours before he said, ‘You can't use that.’”
Wyche said the league had previously informed Bengals owner Paul Brown and NBC, which was televising the game, of its plans. Wyche was tipped off and said he told a league official on-site, “Go get Pete Rozelle on the phone right now because I want to tell him that he's interfering with the competitive balance of this game, and if we get penalized and lose this ballgame, the first thing I'm bringing up in the press conference is this conversation and there are a lot of gamblers out there who aren't going to be very happy. It wasn't 20 seconds before he came back, he left the room and came back, I'm not exaggerating, I bet it wasn’t 20 seconds. 'Uh, the commissioner says go ahead and use the no-huddle, no problem.’”
Fortunately, the current commissioner worries about uniform violations, and pretends that gambling doesn’t exist. That makes it a much better game.
X X X
Speaking of which, Broncos minus 28 against Jaguars isn’t the largest spread ever, but as you debate it this week, remember the one option you all have as citizens.
Not to bet the game at all. Twenty-eight is too much for any team to give, but not enough to take the Jaguars. As a bet, it frankly stinks.
Though I must admit I do fancy the under at 53 a bit.
X X X
Dominic Raiola, the occasionally hot-browed (and apparently low-browed) Detroit Lion center, either has pregame focus issues or he is haunted by dreams of homicidal sousaphone players. He was allegedly abusive to Wisconsin band members at Lambeau Field before the Lions’ loss to the Packers Sunday, and Zach York, one of the band members, wrote an account on his Facebook page:
“After marching down the field awaiting the national anthem, He went off on a verbal tirade, among other things, questioning my sexuality (as a band member) and then continued on to bring my sister and my recently deceased mother into the conversation. After I refused to give him the satisfaction of turning to look at him, he switched targets to a trombone ranting at him calling him overweight and saying he can’t play a real sport. After our halftime show, the same fine gentleman called a female member of the band the ‘c’ word.” He also allegedly threatened to shove the trumpet of a female band member . . . well, you get the idea.
Oddly, Raiola’s brother Dominic was a lineman at Wisconsin. I don’t want to jump to any conclusions, but any good television detective (see Richard Belzer) would have the woodwind section in for a chat.
X X X
And finally, the NFL has scheduled meetings for next month with members of the Oneida Nation regarding . . . gee, let me see what this could be about . . . oh, wait, I remember . . . the Redskins nickname.
Sounds like Danny Snyder is about to get a few friendly arms around his shoulder from his fellow owners, maybe even offering him money to stop being such a utter and complete Danny Snyder.
Although, and let’s be honest about this, Danny Snyder has never not enjoyed being a total Danny Snyder whenever the opportunity reveals itself.
