Grousing about the good dying young has always been a losing proposition, because the good don’t get a vote, and death doesn’t care.
All that said, NBA star/pretty-much-swell fellow Darryl Dawkins had more years due him the 58 he was granted, and the fact that enrages is that there is no place to file a complaint.
Solution: The afterlife should have an independent arbitrator, or at least a kindly HR department.
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The Hockey News preseason annual declared that the San Jose Sharks will have their noses rubbed in it yet again, this time by virtue of the Anaheim Ducks beating the Washington Capitals in the Stanley Cup Final.
The fact that THN also picked the Sharks to miss the playoffs again is, at this point, almost immaterial.
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We told you yesterday that Virginia Tech stopped its defensive coordinator from using the threat of fining players a piece of their cost of attendance money for off the field transgressions, but Cincinnati thinks it’s a grand idea. Head coach Tommy Tuberville (“We are holding them accountable”) and athletic director Mike Bohn (“It’s not a fine. It’s not a threat. It’s a tool”) are all over the idea.
This, though, must be said. It is a fine. It is a threat. And they are tools.
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Michael Vick’s signing by the Pittsburgh Steelers came with a significant level of protest from people who have decided that there is no such thing as paying one’s debt to society, and that once guilty, always guilty. This is unusual, given the NFL’s stance of “once good, rarely guilty.” But that’s the beauty of the NFL –- it can read and follow an invisible guidebook.
None of you can, I bet.
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As part of the Great Atlanta Falcons Artificial Noise Scandal, club president Rich McKay lost his place as head of the NFL’s clout-engorged competition committee. Apparently, though, the #FreeMack hashtags and candlelight vigils and protests outside the Georgia Dome paid off, as commissioner Roger Goodell reinstated McKay Thursday.
Lesson: It’s nice to be close to the king.
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It looks increasingly clear that Robert Griffin III simply cannot play quarterback in Washington with the toxic atmosphere that has burgeoned around him.
Then again, what did you expect? It’s Washington. It’s precisely what karma demands.
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Oregon State’s student section has introduced a new logo, and yes, the fact that student sections have logos that their owners feel compelled to announce is one more reason why global warming is real and the sooner it finishes off human life, the better off the other beings will be.
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In other logo-related news, Stanford’s decision to incorporate the tree on its standard “S” finally clears up a burning issue for those who could not differentiate between Stanford, Michigan State, North Carolina State or the Saskatchewan Roughriders, which uses wheat stalks instead.
Stanford, of course, being the leader in gluten-free designs.
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Cleveland Browns head coach Mike Pettine has declared Johnny Manziel out for the remainder of the preseason because of chronic elbow issues caused by his deviant throwing motion.
Pain aside, Manziel is one lucky bastard. Luckier still if he doesn’t actually have to attend the games.
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Usain Bolt may be the fastest man in the world and maybe the fastest man ever, but this running in a straight line thing has clearly dulled his senses when it comes to peripheral vision. Or at least 180-degree vision and neck swivel power in case a guy on a Segway loses his balance.
Frankly, I lost a lot of respect for Bolt this day. It’s well known that the truly greatest athletes have a little bit of owl in them.
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And finally, your humble yet perpetually chafed correspondent will be out for the following week, and he will be replaced by nobody for reasons that should have been made abundantly clear well before now.
