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Raiders bringing element of ninja surprise to Christmas Eve
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Tuesday, December 15, 2015 - 9:00pm
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I would have to think that, in the absence of dramatic improvement in his condition, Steve Kerr is interspersing his viewing of game tapes and note-taking for Luke Walton to consider legal advice as the months since his apparently botched back surgery drag on without a favorable resolution.

I’m not encouraging anything here, mind you. I’m just thinking he must be thinking.

[RELATED: Draymond: Warriors can get a lot better, 'kind of scary']

X X X

It just occurred to me that next Thursday is the final Color Rush of the season, and that means that the San Diego Chargers will wear all powder blue with indistinguishable gold numbers, while the Oakland Raiders will wear black jerseys, pants and socks, with black numerals, helmets and balaclavas so they can claim the element of ninja surprise.

Either that, or they declare themselves by their original nickname – the Senors, and come out in traditional garb from the days when Oakland, like most of California, was owned by Mexico. It may not provide much concussion protection, but since nobody will be able to see anyone else, the chances of high-speed collisions will be much reduced.

[RELATED: Analysis: Carr, Mack right tandem to spark Raiders rise]

X X X

Which gives me a grand idea: If you want to save football while reducing the unacceptable levels of CTE – blindfolded football.

Which as we all know will lead to the next New England Patriot innovation-turned-national-navel-gaze – PeekieGate.

X X X

Next up for the famous Celebratin’ Monmouth Hawks Backup Thespians after their first-ever win over a Big East team (commemorated by this delicious bit of improv, a big game with Rutgers Sunday.

If they win, a rendition of this. If they lose, this.

X X X

Patrick Kane’s 26-game scoring streak came to an end Tuesday at home in a 3-0 loss to Colorado, although the Blackhawks did try to convince the stat crew to give him an assist on Matt Duchene’s otherwise unassisted goal.

When asked to comment, Draymond Green said he was glad Kane’s streak was over because, and I paraphrase and remove from its original context, “I told the guys postgame, 'Now we can have a regular season,” he told ESPN. “It's been kind of a playoff feel to this, just with the streak and all the media around, all the attention around.”

Yeah, success sucks. Just ask anyone who’s written the “It’s good for them that they lost to Milwaukee” story.

X X X

You know who said this: “To be honest with you, I should actually be the Commissioner of Baseball the way I talk about the game of baseball.”

But do you know who said, “Yeah, ask me to reinstate you now, sucker?”

If you guessed Pete Rose and Rob Manfred, put yourself in for a hearty pat in the back from yourself, unless your arms are too short.

X X X

Why is Arizona Cardinals coach Bruce Arians a better spokesman for important personal causes than DeAngelo Williams or Cameron Heyward? Because the NFL likes Brice Arians better.

And why is that? Because he won’t be fined for violating the NFL law of uniform uniformity. Arians wore a Kangol hat (by New Era, with which the league already has a contract) during Thursday’s win over Minnesota to commemorate/bring attention to Voices for CASA Children, a charity to which he and his wife Christine have contributed money and years of their time. This is such a grand idea for which the Arians’ should be rightly hailed and helped, but so was Williams’, and so was Heyward’s too.

The answer is clearly . . . well, beats the hell out of me. Beats the hell out of you, too.

X X X

And finally, because there are only six more Miserablists before the big day, something to put you in the holiday mood. You may sing along if you want everyone in the other cubicles, work stations, positions on the loading dock or the other barstools to think you’re an idiot.

Because in all likelihood given the overwhelming percentage of your fellow human beings in the same position, you are.

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