Samer Kalaf of Deadspin noted, as WCCO’s Pat Kessler did, that the New Horizons probe to investigate Pluto which cost $720 million is still $280 million cheaper than the Minnesota Vikings’ new stadium. Kalaf, though, thought it made sense to pocket the extra money and move the Vikings to Pluto.
The logic, as you can read, is unassailable. But he forgot to mention that just as the Vikings are prime candidates for such a move, so are the Rams, Chargers and Raiders, who all want to go to Los Angeles. Also the Warriors, Pistons and Bucks, who want new arenas. And while we think of it, the Red Wings, Panthers, Devils, and for sure the Coyotes, who want one or the other, and in the case of the Coyotes maybe even a euthanasic shovel to the back of the head.
If nothing else, a partnership with sports could make NASA self-sustaining immediately. As the nation’s designated team mover (Need A Place To Play? We Have Whole Planets Available in Every Size!), the space agency would become a player on Capitol Hill, and that in and of itself is worthwhile development.
In the alternative, and as a potential test firing, maybe Donald Trump.
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In a related story, Emory University just did a 10-year NFL study on “fan equity,” and one of the categories was bandwagonning. The biggest bandwagon-jumping fan base through 2014 is Arizona, but the Raiders (4), Rams (6) and Chargers (9) are all in the top 10. The list did not extend beyond 10, though, so we can’t tell how many bandwagon Vikings fans would abandon the team if it left for a dwarf planet.
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AARP, which Tiger Woods referenced the other day when discussing his tire-fire golf game, fired back on Twitter after Woods’ tied-for-142nd first round at the British Open.
“@TigerWoods It's better to be over 50, than it is to be over par. #DisruptAging #TheOpen”
This is not an important development, but it does speak to the fact that five years ago, nobody talked back to Tiger Woods. Now they line up to do it. There’s an obvious lesson in this for us all.
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Speaking of guys who no longer scare their contemporaries, new Indiana Pacer Jordan Hill on what it was like to be a Los Angeles Laker:
“All you hear is Kobe’s mouth.”
That’s the thing with disrespectful/truth-telling kids – what are you going to do when they’re too far away to shame?
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And speaking of disrespect, the new nickname for Warriors’ summer league center Matt Stainbrook (Xavier) given to him by Santa Cruz Warriors broadcaster Kevin Danna – the Stain Train – is exactly the kind of thing the NBA Players Association should be actively and aggressively objecting to and preventing. Even though it’s the summer. Even though there’s no money involved. Even though Stainbrook isn’t even a member of the union yet. Some things transcend much mundane issues as jurisdiction.
[RELATED: Warriors drop Porzingis, Knicks for berth in quarterfinals]
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Mark Cuban, BTW, is spit-balling an expanded playoff format with 10 teams per conference. Creatively speaking, this is beneath an innovator like Cuban, and is an indication that either he plans to be 10th without DeAndre Jordan, or he is trying to suck up to Micky Arison and Bob Sarver before the lockout begins.
Either way, uhh, no.
That is all.
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Now back to golf. Garrett Rank shot 79 in the first round of the PanAm Games tournament, which isn’t that big a deal, of course. But since the 27-year-old has a day job as an NHL and AHL referee, the 79, while mildly disappointing, sure beats being told by Steve Downie that his mother has been a disappointment to the neighborhood.
Plus, when it comes to bad rounds, that is TigerWorld too, and everyone else is just visiting.
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And finally, you are in charge of your own sadness and outrage for the next week, as your faithful Miserablist for some badly-needed illicit alcohol trafficking and haranguing of neighbors. Now that’s an adult’s kind of fun not to be declined in these grim and treacherous times.