I’m not one to condemn a team before its time is up, but the Oakland Elephantines look pretty condemnatory to me.
This, of course, should come as great news to A’s fans, because the best way to get kicked in the goolies by the ethereal nature of baseball is to assume you’ve got something figured out.
[RELATED: Do A's have it in them to bounce back?]
Except, of course, the Cubs.
That’s the bait they use to fool you into thinking you’ve got this down.
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Speaking of which, former Athletical Brandon McCarthy became the sixth pitcher this season to pitch an immaculate (nine pitches, nine swung strikes) inning, which is a good thing. But as he damned well knows, Liverpool totally did not deserve its win against Ludogorets Razgrad in the Champions League.
He must do the right thing and admit this publicly before his next start for the Yankees.
In fact, it should precede each of his interviews between now and the second leg in Bulgaria. He owes it to his integrity.
And go Ludo!
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We will now wait a moment while you look at your friends and ask, “What the hell does any of that mean?” Well, if you have to ask, that takes most of the fun out of it. And we’re all about fun here. Except when we do an NFL story, in which the normal emotion runs closer to nausea-charged disgust.
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Teemu Selanne, the glorious Anaheim Duck who just retired, is blaming head coach Bruce Boudreau from the safety of Finland.
This would be from his new book, via some quotes tweeted by Finnish journalist Juha Hiitela and Chris Johnston's story at Sportsnet. And the reason? Power play time.
“You are as good as your coach wants you to be,” Selanne said, according to Hiitela, and translated for those of you whose Finnish is rusty. “If we had any other coach, I’d still be playing.”
The grand explosion came in a Round 1 game against the Dallas Stars, presumably Game 4, in which Selanne was scratched.
“I told him that since he became our coach, he has not respected me one bit. ‘You never put me on ice when we play 5-on-3 or 4-on-4 or when we are one goal behind in the end of the game. Be honest for one time and answer!’ He just stammered that decisions we not his alone and it was a group decision. I ask which group and he said GM and scouts. I yelled (at) him ‘Wow, what kind of a coach you are if you don’t even decide lineup!’ He tried to skate away but I just yelled I wasn’t finished. I told Boudreau, ‘If you ever want to win something in a playoffs, you’re going to need me. Nobody else wants to win as much as me.’ It felt really good.”
The Ducks lost game 4, but won 5 and 6 and advanced to the Western Conference final against Los Angeles.
So yes, it was therapeutic.
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If Pittsburgh’s Todd Haley had been a player rather than an offensive coordinator, missing his team’s plane to Baltimore would have been a massive fine at a time when the team already had all the crappy publicity it could eat. Instead, Haley contacted the team to advise that he was stuck in traffic, and that his wife would be driving to Baltimore anyway, so he bummed a ride with her.
He made the meetings and no disruptions were reported.
Of course, the Ravens routed the Steelers, and the rest of the week was kind of Rice-y, so the lesson is this: Bad timing is often a great thing.
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Jason Kidd’s first grand idea in Milwaukee is to see if he can get 6-foot-9 swing man Giannis Antetokounmpo to run the Bucks’ offense from the point. His second grand idea is to hire Gary Payton, one of his fellow Oaklanders, as a special assistant in Antetokounmpo’s development as a 1.
From Kostas Koukousis of Sport24.gr, translated by SB Nation’s Brew Hoop blog, this:
“Gary Payton is in Athens today and at an event held during the afternoon in the northern suburbs, he revealed that he has agreed with the Bucks to assume the role of ‘special Advisor’ for Antetokounmpo during next season. ‘The Glove’ will start work during preseason . . . and said that he has met with the 19-year-old forward in Las Vegas.”
If this takes, Kidd will then run Zaza Pachulia as the off-guard, Ramon Sessions at the low block, and then Pachulia again at the 3 and 4, because Zaza Pachulia is a name that is even more fun to say with a snootful of Tractor Shed Red than even Giannis Antetokounmpo.
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And finally, this, from SF Gate.
I’ve never been to Botto Bistro, I never want to go there, and if I ever find myself there, I may well jab a knife into my abdomen to shorten my stay. But I like the statement, if only because the pursuit of uncritical good PR has turned our nation into utterly compromised wool-giving bleaters and given us the modern stupid NFL. So take it from someone who wouldn’t go to this dump if it was the only place on earth to find the anti-venom –- it totally stinks with a side of hot tarred gravel.
I exaggerate about the restaurant’s virtues or lack thereof here on grounds of ethics. Can’t take free grub from a place you’ve never been, after all. But I like people who see the tactical value in indiscriminate slander, so I hope that was mean enough for you, kids?