The Warriors are now 4-1 after lunchmeating Minnesota Wednesday night, which means at the present rate of overreaction on their behalf, we can now predict that they will win:
- The SEC Championship
- The President’s Trophy
- The FA Cup
- The Governorship of Pennsylvania
- The Monegasque Throne and rule of the Principality of Monaco
- The Nobel Prize In Physics.
Also, they win a new robotic ankle for Stephen Curry.
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Luther Campbell, the 2LiveCrew Campbell o'course, explained everything you need to know about the National Football League as he played the blame-the-victim card in the Jonathan Martin case for Miami New Times. The highlight:
“The problem with Martin is that he didn’t stand up to Incognito, who it seems didn’t think his teammate had been hazed enough. At some point you have to man up in a football locker room . . . (scatological reference here for which the blanks are pretty much filled in). It’s like prison. There is as always some dude who is going to try another guy who appears weak.
“Now, everybody — from the sports pundits to the Dolphins front office — are saying the politically correct thing: that Incognito was wrong. This is what happens when the nice guys go get their lawyers or their agents involved.
“But none of this would matter if Martin had just put his dukes up. At the end of the day, a fight won’t last more than a few seconds because your teammates will break it up. However, the mere fact the player showed some fight would have been important. That would have squashed it.”
“It’s like prison.” Now if that isn’t a PSA for the league, I don’t know what is.
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By the way, that still isn’t as evocative a phrase as the NHL’s fabulous CYA rule, “Intent To Blow.” They’d be better off just taking the surname of the league’s vice president of hockey operations and calling it “Murphy’s Law.”
That okay with you, Mike?
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Alabama coach Nick Saban, like Al Davis before him, drops into drawl mode when he’s trying to sell a wolf a ticket, as he did Wednesday when asked about the Sabes-to-Texas rumors. “First of all, I don't know where y'all get these reports and I don't know where y'all get the information,'' he said. “But I've already commented on all this stuff. There's nothing new or different that's ever happened. I'm very committed to the University of Alabama, love being here. We've talked about it before. Don't need to talk about it again.”
Well, your agent says you do, Chuckles. But love the Shelby Foote-recounts-the-battle-of-Chickamauga imitation nonetheless.
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Billy Beane went on podcasting duty with the always-glorious Men In Blazers and announced that he is now an Arsenal fan. He used to be a Tottenham fan, at least when his pal Damien Comolli was helping run things at White Hart Lane.
In baseball terms, that is like going from being an A’s fan to a Red Sox fan, which is the last job Beane actively pursued other than the one he has. In other words, he is Arsene Wenger.
As played in the upcoming movie by Julie Delpy.
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And finally, here is the NCAA’s latest call to do the right thing by an athlete, in this case Nathan Harries of Colgate. He is currently ineligible to play because he played three games in a church league this summer to help out a family friend whose team was down to four players. This violates an NCAA rule stipulating that athletes who don't enroll in college immediately after graduating high school will be penalized a year of eligibility for every academic year they partake in organized competition.
Harries didn’t enroll right away because he went off on a Mormon mission. And the church league is populated with teams with names like “Make it Drizzle” and “Respect My Car.” In other words, if you see a competitive advantage in these circumstances, you are an utter pudding. Although you may also be working for The Man keeping college athletes clear of things like money, and harmless fun, and freedom. They need jobs too, you know.