On a day when there is no baseball but much baseball bloviation, it is good to know that Jeanie Buss, who doesn’t run the Los Angeles Lakers, is talking like she does. In response to the ESPN Kobe-Bryant-Is-The-Icy-Hand-Of-Laker-Death story by Henry Abbott, she weighed in with a cheery:
“Any free agent that would be afraid to play with Kobe Bryant is probably a loser, and I’m glad they wouldn't come to the team.”
As for the source within the Lakers' organization who allegedly talked to Abbott: “If there is somebody that’s on our payroll that is saying things like that, I will soon get to the bottom of it and they won't be working for us anymore.”
The upshot: The Lakers could stink for years, and it has nothing to do with Kobe Bryant.
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Across the hall, Nathan Fenno and Ben Bolch of the Los Angeles Times tell us that Clipper Chris Douglas-Roberts is defying Jordan’s Third Law Of Fashion by shortening his shorts.
“They want me to check the best guy and you have to have stamina, you have to be able to move,” Douglas-Roberts said. “I’m not saying you can't move with bigger shorts, but I feel more comfortable in these.”
Next up: Ads on the jerseys, and Speedos down below.
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One bit of news from the great Midwest: The Kansas City International Airport internet blocks such dangerous web sites as Vice Sports (no vice involved) and Who Ate All The Pies (no pies involved) but allows Tampa Bay defensive tackle Gerald McCoy to smack-face his teammates who don’t like being criticized for being the Tampa Bay defense.
“Yeah. I mean, if you look out there on tape and you see a bunch of guys sitting on blocks, are you not earning the title of being soft?” McCoy said, via Pat Yasinskas of ESPN.com. “I mean, guys get so sensitive around the league, but we have to be men. This is a man’s league. This is a man’s league and we’re professionals. Guys have issues with criticism. I’ve been getting criticized since I’ve been in the NFL, and I don’t even feel it anymore. It is what it is.”
Thank God that slipped through the net.
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Eddie DeBartolo didn’t make the Pro Football Hall of Fame cut, which is not in and of itself a particular outrage. But if Roger Goodell gets in before he does, all right-thinking Americans will have something to say about it.
Of course, that is years away, so dial your rage down to “simmer.”
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More rumors about an NFL team moving to London come with Sunday’s Detroit-Atlanta game in, yes, London. But the Evening Standard quoted Chancellor George Osborne as saying, “This is primarily a decision for the owners of the clubs and the NFL organisation (Brit spelling, of course) but I’ve said to the NFL that anything the Government can do to make this happen we will do, because I think it would be a huge boost to London. We could have not just the Star Spangled Banner at the beginning of NFL games but also God Save The Queen.”
Yes, but only if they’re both sung by F--- Buttons and Charli XCX. London can have its pick of teams then.
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And finally, Serena Williams says she has received a written apology from Russian tennis chief Shamil Tarpischev for his comments referring to her and Venus as the “Williams brothers.”
Tarpischev was fined $25,000 and suspended from tour involvement for a year for his comments on a Russian TV show, in which he also said the sisters were “scary” to look at. He said in the apology that there was no malicious intent, and the quotes were taken out of context.
No, Shammy old shoe, the quotes were taken out of an idiot’s piehole. That’s a much different neighborhood than “Context.”