The news from Comrade Florio that the NFL may be heading back to Los Angeles means that even in a bye week, Raider fans got a sharp knee right in the nethers.
Theirs is one of the three teams most often mentioned (with San Diego and St. Louis) as relocation bait, their lease with the Coliseum ends at year’s end, and Oakland mayor Jean Quan is as believable when it comes to talking about saving the team for the East Bay as Roger Goodell is about . . . well, anything.
We feel for you, kids. We really do. But it may be time to have that talk with the kids about what happens when you lose a pet. Only this is lots of pets, and they don’t go off to Grandpa’s farm, but . . . ugh, Hollywood Park.
And Christmas sure looks like it’s going to suck.
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And now news on the headgear/players being players front. Colin Kaepernick has apparently decided to face down the league on its new headphone rule.
Apparently the NFL, in its quest to own everything on a player that isn’t more invasive than dental instruments, did a deal with Bose that entitles the company to prevent players (or coaches) from wearing any other manufacturer's headphones during televised interviews. The restriction is in force for an hour and a half after games, so Kaepernick’s appearance with his standard earwear is a statement of revolution that, like his naughty language two weeks ago, will probably cost him some money.
So maybe he should have gotten fines covered in his otherwise-company-friendly contract.
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Speaking of rampant pottymouth, Tampa Bay Buccaneers (and former Oakland) receiver Louis Murphy was flagged for unsportsmanlike conduct after a Tampa Bay touchdown. God, the league is just horrifying sometimes.
Well, okay, most of the time.
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But it’s probably okay with Buffalo defensive coordinator Jim Schwartz, who told Bills players in OTAs this spring that he wanted to be carried off the field if the Bills beat the Detroit Lions, where Schwartz was once head coach.
They did, and he was.
Now for bonus points and a chance to play in our final round against a computer, a goat and actor Paul Rudd, please explain how this isn’t taunting an opponent.
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Most of the best potential records die in garbage time, and so it was with the New York Jets Sunday. En route to a humiliating/coach-firing/town-destroying loss in San Diego, the Jets were on a pace to gain fewer than 100 yards against a fairly ordinary Chargers defense.
But no, two late drives, of 70 and 38 yards, ruined that, and all casual observers will notice is that the Jets were out-gained 439-151, and only got inside San Diego territory twice.
Hell, that’s no fun.
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The Dallas Cowboys beat Houston at home in overtime on a late field goal by Dan Bailey, but the talk of the game was how the Cowboys had to go to a silent snap count because, according to Cowboys tight end Jason Witten, the Texans fans in Dallas were so loud that the Cowboys' offense couldn’t function.
But at least Jerry got paid, and Jason Garrett has put more distance between himself and the vacant chair so many people think could be filled next year by J. Joseph Harbaugh.
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And good fun in the London derby between Chelsea and Arsenal, where Arsenal coach Arsene Wenger, who hates Chelsea’s Jose Mourinho, shoved Mourinho, who hates Wenger, when Mourinho complained that Wenger was out of his coaches box (technical area, for you snobs) to work the refs.
So let’s get to the handbags.
“What is to regret after that?” Wenger said of the incident. “I wanted to go from A to B and somebody confronted me in between without any sign of welcome. B was (Arsenal’s Alexis) Sanchez, to see how badly he was injured.”
Mourinho told Wenger to “back off,” got shoved, and referee Martin Atkinson and fourth official Jonathan Moss had to be the adults.
Mourinho’s response was to say, “Forget that (the push). A football pitch is a football pitch, so no problem. It becomes heated because this is a big game, big clubs, big rivals, an important match for both teams. These conditions make a game of emotions. There are two technical areas, one for me, one for him. He was coming to my technical area and he was not coming for the right reasons. He was not coming to give some tactical instructions or something. He was coming to press the referee to give a red card (to Chelsea defender and momentary miscreant Gary Cahill) and I didn't like that.
“To be fair, I do so many wrong things in football. Sometimes you lose emotion and I did so many wrong things, but not this time, because this time I was just in my technical area and it was not my problem. Game over. Story over.'”
“Honestly I don't listen to what he says. Look I trust you that you (the media) will teach me all the moral lessons over the next three weeks. And I can accept that.”
Chelsea won, 2-0, and that he cannot accept.
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And finally, the baseball has been way better than anything else going on, which for those among you who have reached full and final Jeterophobia means that sufficient time has passed and now he is but another afterthought.
Until he either does or doesn’t get married to Hannah Davis, or Hannah Storm, or Wade Davis, or does something else the rest of the country couldn’t give a damn about.
Face it, kids, he’s bigger than baseball.
Well, almost. Bartolo Colon became an American citizen, and good for him. He is also still a Met, though, so it’s break-even at best.