Colin Kaepernick’s latest foray into pedal-oral (foot-in-mouth, you philistines) collisions – the #7tormsComing tribute to Houston’s water retention issues – reminds us that, while athletes need to have independent avenues to express themselves, the greatest danger to their freedom of expression typically comes when they feel free to express themselves without remembering the Second Law Of Speech.
Namely, the freedom to speak is only as useful as the freedom to hold the occasional unexpressed thought. Kaepernick did apologize, proof yet again that he is neither malicious nor ill-meaning, but he really should invest in a new phone app – the AYSYWPTSYST.
As in, “Are you sure you want people to see you say this?” feature that comes up with every tweet. If you think it’s too good not to share, hit “Send” a second time. And if you’re not sure, punch yourself in the face until the impulse to share dies a natural death.
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The Raiders haven’t officially left Oakland yet, although the seagulls over the Coliseum have been fighting insurgent vulture flocks for months now, but they did find out that they won’t be allowed to take part of their post-modern iconography, namely the Al Davis Eternal Flame.
Evidently a number of other owners have decided to make that an early dealbreaker because they remember when they were sued by Al for mis-, mal-, non- and crypto-feasance back in the ‘80s, before most of the current owners were, in fact, owners. It is somehow comforting that pettiness and post-score-settling is not deterred by the appearance of a graveyard. After all, post hoc ergo propter hoc isn’t just for old people any more.
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Carlo Ancelotti, who was just fired at Real Madrid for not winning any trophies this year, including the Lady Byng, was hailed as a genius last year when he won plenty. The reason, according to president Florentino Perez:
“What did Ancelotti do wrong? I don’t know.”
Hard to argue with that logic.
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Philadelphia Phillies general manager Ruben Amaro has not been a popular figure in town for awhile now, so he did what every smart sports executive does when cornered.
He blew his nose on the audience.
In a chat with CSN Philadelphia’s Insider Jim Salisbury, Amaro whined and moaned about the Phillies fan base whining and moaning about the Phillies’ decisions not to call up pitching prospects Aaron Nola and Zach Eflin.
“They don’t understand the game,” Amaro said. “They don’t understand the process. There’s a process. And then they b**** and complain because we don’t have a plan. There’s a plan in place and we’re sticking with the plan. We can’t do what’s best for the fan. We have to do what’s best for the organization so the fan can reap the benefit of it later on. That’s the truth.”
There is literally no chance of that not being held against him for the remainder of recorded time. But as long as he got it off his chest . . .
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For New Orleans Saints receiver Joe Horn told TheFootballGirl.com a few things about Roger Goodell, the NFL’s public godhead. To the surprise of exactly zero people, the words did not represent an unqualified endorsement.
“I don’t like what Roger Goodell is doing,” Horn said. “He has so much power that he can almost shut people down. I just don’t like him. And I don’t like that on draft day these kids don’t know that they’re hugging the devil . . . They really don’t know that the man they’re hugging will rip their throat apart. If he has an opportunity to take money from them, or there’s a situation where they’re guilty before they go to court, he’ll rip them apart. And there’s nothing no one can do about it. If the owners are happy with Roger Goodell, the fans, the media, no one can take his job from him. I hate it.”
It may help Horn to know, however, that oxygen manipulator Tom Brady’s appeal prep was interrupted by his acquisition of a family puppy. That was news.
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And finally, here is why the real Coach of the Year in every sport should have been Kevin McHale of the Houston Rockets. Not only did he engineer 56 wins and a second-seed in the playoffs out of this mad brush of the team, he has done it while eschewing the normally highly prized concept of consistency.
The Rockets have won their nine postseason games by 2, 6, 9, 10, 12, 12, 13, 13 and 21 points and lost their seven by 1, 4, 12, 16, 25, 33 and 35 points. In other words, you don’t know, they don’t, and he doesn’t know. And he damned well has earned every day and dollar of the extension he got on Christmas Eve from Houston owner Leslie Alexander.
I mean, let’s see Steve Kerr try to coach Dwight Howard, Josh Smith, James Harden and Patrick Beverley without pulling off his own head.
I rest my case.