Now it’s Chris Paul who’s out with an injury (though the Los Angeles Clippers won without him), so it can finally be told. Joe Lacob, who is by day the co-owner of the Golden State Warriors, is a warlock by night, and when he gets bored, or drunk, or both, he conjures up an injury to a potential opponent. I know there is no actual physical proof of this, but the tinfoil hat community has been built on events with fewer coincidences.
The only other possibility, of course, is that the Warriors have amassed all the crap years (38 playoff-less seasons, average record 31-51), thrown out all the playoff years (31 years, average record 42-31) and the missed championships (65 in 68 years) and chose this one year to negate them all.
Which is also warlock stuff. If anyone has a photo of Lacob in a tall black pointy hat, please send it to CSN Bay Area. No photoshops, please.
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The University of North Dakota has been seeking a new nickname since the old one, Fighting Sioux, was found to be offensive to many Native Americans, and have put up two fairly massive PDFs of approved nickname candidates, and of course non-approved ones as well. Among the approved ones:
164s (a North Dakota regiment in World War II)
Aurora Borealis
Barnstormers
Sodbusters
Bleating Sheep
Charging Nokota (a Sioux horse)
Chupacabra
Cormorants
Fighting Frackers
Flickertails
Nodaks
North Dakota
Tsunami
Yeti
Now the fun ones:
Abominable Sportsmen
Seventh Cavalry (remember Custer?)
Emergency Room Werewolves
Fighting Biker Gang
Fighting Middle Fingers
NoNames
Parking Enforcers
Peaceful Aboriginals
Road Conditions
Tsunamis
Yeti Sasquatch
And finally, ABCDEFGHJKLMNPQRTVWXZ (the alphabet minus the letters S, I, O, U and X).
No, I do not know why Tsunami and Yeti can be on both lists.
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The NBA is closing in on a planned rule change to eliminate what has become known as the Hack-A-Shaq (although it really should be Haq-A-Shaq). This is of course another stupid idea from the people who need constant stimulation and have decided any dead moments in a game are the work of Satan.
Just one more problem that isn’t being fixed for no good reason.
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More NBA News: Doc Rivers will star this year in an NBA highlights show in which famous games in NBA history (as opposed to two-year-old games being passed off as history) will be shown and he will complain in agony to the officials on film about every borderline call. First, the 1965 All-Star Game in which the East won 124-123 despite Bill Russell being fouled out.
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Manny Pacquiao’s rotator cuff injury has been attributed to too many curve balls as a child. If only someone had been there to count his pitches.
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Home teams in the NBA playoffs are 26-19. NHL teams are 33-23. In other words, home crowds aren’t helping very much, which we mention in case you want to drone on and on again about how YFT (Your Favorite Team) has TBFITW (The Best Fans In The World).
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And finally, the big scoop that NFL.com had pages prepared for the Los Angeles Raiders and Rams turned out to be, well, not much of a much. For example, why would they have Los Angeles Raiders but not Los Angeles Chargers?
I mean, the NFL is evil, but it’s usually evil on a pretty strict schedule.
