So far, the Stanley Cup Playoffs have been a screeching downer, in that seven games have produced only nine minutes of overtime. This is how postseason hockey games are scored by the smart people, except of course for those shackled to a particular team.
With that said, if we cannot have massive overtimes because of a cruel and vengeful overlord, 12 or 13 Sharks-Kings games would work almost as well.
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Jurgen Klopp, Liverpool manager and part-time Teutonic god, explained the relationship between coaches and media members perfectly after the Scousers shocked Borussia Dortmund, 4-3, to advance to the semifinals of the Europa League competition. When asked to look far down the road by one particularly dim questioner and being one step closer to the title and a place in next year’s Champions League, he explained in great detail the difficulty with such an approach.
“Don't ask me about this s--t.”
Jurgen Klopp is better than Steve Kerr in this regard.
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Just a rhetorical question here, which means you don’t have to answer (and besides, you’re reading this, so why would you?):
Any of you Giants fans still keen on Pablo Sandoval? Would you take him back at a dime on the dollar? A nickel? Bitcoin? Come on, speak up. You know you loved him, back before the Red Sox used the disabled list to tell fibs.
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There was quite the hoop-de-blah about the New York Giants using “Washington” in its new schedule graphic rather than the R-word, and after Giants P.R. guy Pat Hanlon explained to Deadspin that the Giants use both names (but not why they do that), we are left to ask a pertinent question.
Namely, how soon will Danny Snyder call John Mara at the next owners’ bacchanal and drop an inquisitive “WTF, dude?” And Mara of course, will answer “I don’t speak . . . what do the youth call it, Daniel? Oh yes. ‘emoji.’”
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Good news for Jordan Spieth! He can try to win the iconic red jacket of the Chinese Masters again.
According to VICE, the Chinese government, which had banned golf as a corrupted pastime for wheeler-dealers (“Like fine liquor and tobacco, fancy cars and mansions, golf is a public relations tool that businessmen use to hook officials,” one party newspaper said in 2015), has changed its tune again.
An article in the sprightly named Discipline Inspection and Supervision News, the official newspaper of China's anti-corruption agency, now declares that “since it is only a sport, there is no right or wrong about playing golf.” In other words, golf is value neutral. Doing business on the golf course will get you a swift one in the goolies, but just hitting a ball is now no longer an affront to ghost of Mao Zedong.
No word, though, on how Masters boss Billy Payne feels about this new development, since for him, business is value neutral and golf just a means to that end.
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Attention striking members of the U.S. Women’s National soccer team: I have a spokesperson for you -– freshly fired AC Milan coach Sinisa Mihailovic.
After Milan midfielder Kevin-Prince Boateng’s wife, Melissa Satta, offered this assessment of Mihailovic’s successor, Christian Brocchi -– “You can only really speak about situations like this when they are behind you. But I believe that with Brocchi, the Rossoneri dressing room and atmosphere around the club will become a lot calmer and more tranquil” -– Mihailovic took a slightly different view.
“I’m not sexist,” he said, which as we all know is the prelude to being just that, “but I don’t think women should talk about football. They are not suited to talk about it.”
Somewhere Rebecca Lowe is biting the head off a greyhound.
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And finally, with our compliments, from Awful Announcing.