There are lots of things to take away from the Chris Borland interview by Freres Fainaru, but the one I like is this: The 49ers sent him a bill for the remaining amount of his $617,436 signing bonus.
I think they call that, “invoicing with class.”
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Rumors abound that David Stern’s friends are trying to primp him for a run at being Mayor of New York in 2017, presumably to replace fellow Democrat and unpopular-o-matic Bill DeBlasio. The reason, as listed by the New York Post:
“He’s pretty bored.”
Well, if he wants excitement, he should try running against Ed Murray for Mayor of Seattle. They love him there. And hey, he could bring beleaguered Sacramento mayor Kevin Johnson with him, just to see how close he could get to zero votes.
Put another way, he would definitely lose to Deez Nuts.
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John McEnroe on playing Serena Williams, and claiming he would beat her today, at age 56:
“Fifteen years ago Donald Trump . . . made an offer which I felt like was not enough. And I think he was humoring the two of us. And Serena, she’s got a lot to lose by losing to an old fart like myself. And I’ve got a lot to lose because if I lose to – God forbid – a woman, then I’m not allowed in any men’s locker room for the next 15 years or possibly the end of my life.”
Frankly, I blame Jimmy Kimmel for asking the question because, and I speak for everyone on this, “Been done, and was as stupid in 1968 as it is now. Nobody cares. Shut up.”
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Forgive me. I’m working through some stuff.
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In a rare case here and there, FIFA doesn’t turn out to be wholly evil. Take, for example, Chelsea’s purchase of Pedro, the well-skilled forward from Barcelona, for the rough equivalent of $36 million. A FIFA initiative gobbledygook-named “training and solidarity mechanism,” $600K of that will bail his boyhood team, Raqui San Isidro, out of a threatened liquidation. The Tenerife-based club, where Pedro played until being scooped up by the Barcelona net, gets a small percentage of the Chelsea money, which may be enough to save it.
Fortunately, though, FIFA is still way unclean, so you don’t actually have to change your opinion. This is just a reminder that nobody is totally evil all the time, not even Roger Goodell. I mean, that would be exhausting.
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Mike Trout doesn’t have enough free time on his hands this coming winter, so what he wants to do is talk in a blizzard. From the noted Jeff Passan of Yahoo!:
“Should a big storm hit the area this offseason, the Weather Channel wants to offer Trout a correspondent’s gig. ‘We’re planning on me doing a story when there’s a big storm in Jersey,’ Trout said. ‘I’m gonna be on the Weather Channel. Hopefully, we get a big snowstorm.’
“And if not, perhaps he can do it like Cantore and follow the bad weather where it goes. ‘A sick vacation for me,’ Trout said, ‘would be to go to upstate New York when a big snowstorm hits.’”
That sound you heard was Mike Scioscia throwing up a live badger.
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And finally, John Harbaugh decided in a moment of . . . we’re not sure, really . . . to compare training camp to childbirth, thus making him and his brother the Birth-And-Rebirth Twins (remember Jim’s “reborn in football” speech?). As he has never actually evicted a human from his insides, Harbaugh couldn’t possibly know (not even Dr. Jen Welter could, since she has never had children), but maybe Harbaugh meant this:
It hurts like hell, you’re hot and feverish, there’s lots of screaming and 18 weeks later (or in the case of a child, 18 years), there is usually a massive and bitter disappointment, followed by you being fired.
But at least with childbirth, you don’t have drooling pneumatic morons on TV telling you what a lousy job you did drafting your kid.