I haul this out only to see my friend and de facto cousin Chrissy Poggi Rossi shriek hysterically and make plans to find the secret location:
Tim Lincecum has been throwing every day at a secret location near phoenix with trainer and father at side. Showcase coming.”
“De facto cousin,” as I said.
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Montana State decided to go full Curry Thursday, jacking up 43 three-pointers and making 25 in a 101-58 win over Northern Arizona. This would be more impressive if The Citadel weren’t actually averaging 36 three-point tries per game.
More to the point, MSU and The Citadel have 25 more losses between them this year than Curry does.
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Identify this state official who said this, and as a result isn’t long for his job:
“The (name redacted to heighten the mystery) scholarship fund is now so depleted that fewer high school students will receive awards and current recipients are in jeopardy of losing their existing scholarships. Even with additional revenue, higher education this year will need to cut $42 million. This will be combined with a $28 million cut in scholarship funds that the universities will have to absorb, resulting in the largest mid-year cut in (state) history. However, if there is no new revenue raised this year, higher education will face catastrophic cuts over the next four months. And that comes on the heels of the largest disinvestment in higher education in the nation over the last eight years.
“As I mentioned earlier, if the legislature fails to act and we are forced to proceed with these cuts, the Ag Center and parish extension offices in every parish, and Pennington Biomedical Research Center will close by April 1st and the main campus will run out of money after April 30th, as will the Health Sciences Centers. There is no money left for payroll after those dates . . . without legislators approving new revenue this special session, some campuses will be forced to declare financial bankruptcy, which would include massive layoffs and the cancellation of classes.
“If you are a student attending one of these universities, it means that you will receive a grade of incomplete, many students will not be able to graduate and student athletes across the state at those schools will be ineligible to play next semester. That means you can say farewell to college football next fall.”
Yes, it’s the new and freshly unpopular governor of Louisiana, John Bel Edwards, who replaced the spendy failed Presidential candidate Bobby Jindal. He just threatened to take LSU football away from LSU, which is to say he offered to make the campus a JiffyLube, and his political career into the guy on Lube Rack 3.
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Has anyone ever made more money per dreadful career decision than Dwight Howard? Asking for all the friends in the world.
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This may not be as bad as it seems (though it surely is as funny as it seems), but George Washington basketball coach Mike Lonergan got tossed from a game earlier this week.
His daughter’s game.
His daughter’s high school JV game.
His daughter’s high school JV game in which he didn’t even complain to the officials or punch another parent or anything.
“I rush over to St. John’s to catch the Seton JV game,” he told a radio show in Washington. “It’s the middle of the third quarter, my daughter — they’re down like four — so start of the fourth quarter, she gets a foul called, and the scorer’s table hits the horn and says she’s got five fouls. So my wife, she’s sitting near me in the bleachers, I said ‘She doesn’t have five fouls.’
“So my daughter goes to the bench, bawling, she’s crying, so I look over, I say ‘Hey, do you have five?’ She said ‘No.’ So, I thought I was discreet, I waited until the next timeout, and I went over to the scorer’s table and I asked the little young lady that was sitting there, from St. John’s, I said ‘Hey, how many fouls does No. 13 have?’ She said, ‘Well, I only had her for four.’ So, some middle-aged loser at the scorer’s table starts yelling at me, asking me who I am. I said, ‘I’m nobody. My daughter’s down there crying, I know she doesn’t have five fouls and I’m just curious why, you know, you got her for five.’ And then he called over a policeman — who I knew, I used to play basketball with — so I just went into the hallway and talked with him, and then I just said, ‘Well, I better get out of here.’
“I don’t think my daughter knows I got thrown out, because it was pretty, kind of quietly done. I went and sat down, and the cop came over and said, ‘Hey, they want you to leave.’ I’m like, ‘Are you kidding me? Alright.’ My wife didn’t even say anything to me, so I don’t know how the heck you could know. I think maybe I had a Nike shirt on, and since they’re owned by Under Armour over there, maybe they got upset with that.”
So other than him calling a parent volunteer a middle-aged loser and saying that a school is owned by a sporting apparel company, yeah, it was overblown. But funny.
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Because I am a lazy bag of horror show, I will merely salute the technogeekery of Timothy Burke and let him explain to you why the officials who screwed up the end of the Boise State-Colorado State basketball actually didn’t.
And remember, these are the machines with which you want to rely upon for your entertainment.
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And finally, Tim Flannery apologized for his spectacular tweet of a day ago. I am ashamed of him for this.
Okay, now the feeling has passed. To the rest of you this long weekend, go away.
