Right off the top, Darnell Dockett in California is an immediate upgrade for him in the area that truly matters.
Yes, the Cardinals and 49ers both have red as their proprietary color, but the Cardinals did a completely daft thing 10 years ago and decided it liked the classic looks of your average Mid-American Conference team, with different color sleeves and numbers that were fatter than they were tall. They were every bit as bad in their way as Eddie DeBartolo’s 49ers-meet-Arena Football makeover 1998.
[RELATED: Kap welcomes Dockett to 49ers: 'Let's eat!']
But the 49ers eventually went back to its best look ever, and more to the point they don’t have the white helmets that make those who do wear them look downright hydrocephalic. Plus, only one team with a white helmet has won a Super Bowl since 1973 – the 2006 Colts.
In many other significant ways, Arizona is a better team, but the NFL makes it so that veterans must be punished for lasting as long as they do, so Dockett comes here with a lesser chance of getting a ring but a greater chance of not looking like Bruce Bochy.
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If God was an elected office (and frankly, it is a more intriguing idea the more you think of it, as long as nobody is allowed to spend money on their campaigns), put me down for Gregg Popovich, just because of this from Mike Monroe of the San Antonio News Express:
“The notion of lengthening the NBA season to reduce the number of back-to-back games and the occasional four games-in-five nights scenarios was mulled by commissioner Adam Silver during his All-Star Weekend news conference. Included in the discussion: a pledge to consider all possibilities, even playing into July.
And Popovich has decided that if it comes to that, he will rest himself.
“'I think the season is long enough,' Popovich said before the Spurs played the Kings Wednesday. 'I will not come to work in July. If there’s a game in July, count me out?
Even for an NBA Finals game?
“'Count me out,' Popovich reiterated. 'Count me out. Life is too short.'”
The July issue is coming up because of the increased demands on players, including international demands, that may exacerbate injuries or shorten careers. Popovich, who has routinely held players out of games for their health and shelf lives, consistently has supported the Spurs who want to play for their national teams.
“'Nobody knows where (injuries) come from,’ Popovich said. ‘Everybody makes their choices in the offseason. It’s hard for people not to play for their country, whether foreign or domestic. It’s tough (not) to do because it’s quite an honor. Secondly, most of those guys would be playing anyway, in some gym some place, working out. Better to be under the guidance of something that’s organized.’
Of course, Popovich would prefer that international games be contested by amateur players.
“’I wish we didn’t have cell phones and 3-point shots,’ he said, ‘but that’s not going to happen. All of us had that amateur dream growing up, that it’s for the kids to do what they do. Of course, that’s great. (But) that ship has sailed, I think.’”
No cell phones? Yes, Daddy. Where can I commit voter fraud on your behalf?
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Between ambidextrous pitchers (Pat Venditte), pitchers who operate as clubhouse buskers (A.J. Griffin) and players who explain baseball’s new rules the Terpsichore of muse (Stephen Vogt as Chris Farley), the Oakland A’s remain the sport’s undisputed response to the death of vaudeville.
Billy Beane may hate chemistry as a predictor of results, but if he doesn’t sit in the clubhouse and just watch every once in a while, he’s forgetting why baseball really exists.
As a substitute for improv.
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The MLS collective bargaining settlement was, as you might have figured, a whopping loss for the players, who had no leverage from the start except their services. But at least this reinforces the essential truth of the league -– it’s in it for the real estate and the occasional elderly foreign player.
You might want to bring that up the next time someone sees you watching the Premier League and asks you if you watch the domestic game. If the owners have created a system that stands for stagnation, why shouldn’t you?
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And finally, Nancy Lieberman remains an option to be an assistant on George Karl’s coaching staff in Sacramento this summer, though after watching the Kings win at New York by 38 and then lose by 27 the next night in San Antonio, she may want to invest in a recompression chamber to combat the bends.
Come to think of it, this ought to be offered to all employees in the Kings’ medical benefits package. They had a lose-by-18, win-by-3, lose-by-19, win-by-19, lose-by-10, win-by-19 stretch in January, and that’s the kind of thing that could collapse a lung faster than smoking three packs of cigarettes at once in a falling skyscraper in an elevator in Denver.