Wednesday’s National Letter of Intent Day was one of the . . . oh, no it wasn’t. It was the same thing it always is – a festival of liars and snake-oil peddlers entertaining a cavalcade of the idle and deluded.
In other words, reality television.
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Antonio Cromartie’s assertion that the NFL should take marijuana off the company drugs list probably sits wrong with a lot of folks, but truth is probably on his side. “They need to just let it go,” Cromartie told Brian Costello of the New York Post. “We’re just going to do it anyway. They just need to let it go. They need to go ahead and say, ‘Y’all go ahead, smoke it, do what you need to do.’“
Of course, he was sure to Tweet later that “we” actually meant “they,” and that he’s never felt the need to spark. That means he’s either operating on hearsay, a keen nose for secondhand smoke, or should be hired by the league when his career ends to monitor the ratio between concussions and positive weed tests.
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And this is why Anquan Boldin deserves a raise from the 49ers, or from someone who needs someone of his rarefied gifts. Essentially, he is the best free agent wide receiver on the free agent market, while being the fourth oldest. So, in the immortal words of Jim Harbaugh every time he wants to give Trent Baalke a screaming migraine, “Pay the man.”
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49er fans show their support by putting on tinfoil hats and making conspiracy videos. In England, they die and leave a huge amount of money for their local side.
A lifelong Leyton Orient fan named John (Chingford John) Burman died and left his team more than $200,000 in his will. The team is dedicating its Saturday match to him, though a statue would probably be in order.
As for the matter of the 49ers’ response conspiracy videographer, Jedediah Of York remains curiously silent . . . unless, of course, it turns out that he is the clandestine executive producer.
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Colorado head football coach Mike MacIntyre signed his son Jay to a letter of intent Wednesday, and defended his decision by saying, "He's got a really good looking mom."
Surely that’s some kind of a violation, isn’t it?
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The Olympic organizers in Sochi are probably just saving the best for last when they report a severe shortage of departing airplanes after the Games are over, but there are plenty of employment opportunities for tourists who would like to stay behind and help finish all the building projects in time for the next set of tourists – at this rate, in 2053.
In the meantime, amuse yourselves with this.
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Oklahoma State’s Marcus Smart has developed a nationwide reputation for flopping, which he both admits and rejects.
"I've probably built up a little reputation, and I'm not questioning that," Smart said after Monday’s triple overtime loss to Iowa State, “ but I'm not the only one flopping. Every team and every player does it to make sure you get the call."
Oh, so if everyone flopped off the Empire State Building, that means . . . oh, never mind.
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And finally, to Los Angeles' Chris Kaman, who handled the Cleveland experience the way so many people do. Intriguingly, the Lakers built that huge lead with only eight players, and finished with only four eligible players, but held on to beat the Cavaliers, 119-108. Kaman had 13 on six-of-seven shooting, so the nap clearly did him a world of good.
Better still, the Lakers go to Philadelphia for a game Friday, and the Sixers are replacing the L.A. bench with bunk beds.