The problem of where a defensive player can hit a ball-carrier may have been solved Sunday when St. Louis’ T.J. McDonald convinced San Francisco tight end Vernon Davis to take a dive by inadvertently seizing the business end of his Y-fronts in the third quarter of Sunday’s 23-13 49er win.
[RELATED: Crabtree's return does not slow down Boldin or Davis]
Davis, while uncomfortable and maybe a bit put out that whatever plans he had for the evening had been forced to include an ice bag applied to the happy place, at least knew his knees were safe and he hadn’t taken any shots to the helmet.
And McDonald? Well, there’s no NFL mechanism for fining a guy for promoting hernias.
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As for Toronto mayor and entertainment theme park Rob Ford, he survived his day at the Falcons-Bills game in Rogers SkyDome, and only committed disturbances by turning up rather than the usual ways for him. He is running out of opportunities to Ford Up Son unless the Raptors are really planning to win the Atlantic Division by going 31-51. Now that’ll be a parade.
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Ron Rivera’s new issue with nicknames did not create any problems for the Carolina Panthers Sunday, as they slapped the Tampa Bay Schianii back in their place Sunday, but while he is now being called “Riverboat Ron” for abandoning his own contraindicated conservatisms, his own choice of “Analytical Ron” demeans both him and his university – Cal.
Thus, his nickname shall be the only thing it can be. Ronald.
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The Pittsburgh Steelers may lose a draft choice for Mike Tomlin’s deft “what-me-do-that?” interference on Jacoby Jones Thursday night seems draconian – until you realize the Steelers haven’t drafted all that well lately, which means this could actually be a reward of sorts.
Maybe what should happen is that Tomlin is put out on the field so that players can run at him without him being able to move or defend himself. For one, it’s more fun to watch. Two, making draft psychos psycho about the draft in December is more than normal people should be forced to endure.
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New England owner Bob Kraft showed his special relationship with the media by celebrating the Patriots’ come from behind win over Houston by smacking CSN New England’s Tom Curran on the hinder, and then having his son Jonathan follow up.
Curran, ever the professional, finished his standup, then stripped naked and burned his clothes while cursing the Krafts and begging for alcohol to numb the shame.
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Longtime New York Times baseball writer Murray Chass urged members of the Hall of Fame’s veterans committee yet again not to vote for longtime players association Marvin Miller, as it is far too late to honor the man for his unarguable impact upon the game. I am not and never have been a member of that committee, and have always thought that the Hall is actually a museum of the history of the game, so I cheerfully (and ineffectually, as I still don’t have a vote) reject Chass’ suggestion. Miller is part of the history, and history cannot bow to either the beneficiaries or their victims.
[RELATED: Maddux, Glavine, Kent on Hall of Fame ballot]
Besides, I’m still working on Tim Raines, who wants to be in.
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And finally, don’t miss this week Three-And-Out, on your local Comcast regional network, where we come even closer to mentioning a quarterback on every NFL team whether they deserve it or not. The teams who have not yet been mentioned include Buffalo, Cleveland, Jacksonville and Tennessee. Be the first to fill out your bingo card and win no fabulous prizes – LIKE THIS FABULOUS 2014 BUGATTI VEYRON! Be the first to hear us say Ryan Fitzpatrick, Chad Henne, Brandon Weeden or E.J. Manuel, and you’ll get nothing whatsoever.
Because that, damn it, is the way WE roll.
Ray Ratto is a columnist for CSNBayArea.com